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Weekend meetup

So it’s getting close to that time again-

Bill yum will be in town next weekend and I’m so excited about it

I haven’t had sex in a while and have been so horny

I text him last night to see if he’s getting a hotel when he comes and he said most likely

Not sure if he will or not but either way I’m gonna fuCk him

Whether it’s in the back of his car or just fucking on the side of a dark back road 

I need to fill my want and need 

Tank isn’t doing that for me since we are waiting to have sex

Which is cool but a girl needs a little more than just dry humping and sucking a dick

So I plan on Saturday to be wild as always when I’m with Bill yum

His huge black dick will penetrate my tight pussy and feed this need I’ve had for quite some time 

It might seem as though I am just using him for sex— but am I wrong? 

Men do it all the time- why can’t women. 

Fuck it I’m gonna do what I want anyway no matter what people say or think even if they think it’s wrong.

Tank update:

So I’m still talking/texting Tank since the last time we went out on a date and he supposedly would start coming up to see me more- now to see if he’s truthful about that And actually comes. 

I just feel like sometimes guys are all talk- 

I won’t believe him until I actually see it happen

I’m feeling a bit strange about Tank and thinking maybe he’s not that experienced sexually since he doesn’t wanna have sex with me yet. His kissing was awkward and it was as if he pushing his whole mouth on my mouth and the tongue doesn’t move in sync with mine- I cannot explain it but he’s a terrible kisser and I feel like I’m suffocating when he kisses me- doesn’t give me those feels like other guys do when we kiss so I’m wondering if I’m honestly attracted to him or not and wondering if I’m wasting my time. I had to tell him on Saturday to kiss a certain way not sure if I crushed his male ego but I don’t give a fuck I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Tank is the kind of guy who seems like he hasn’t been with a woman in a long time which I guess is a good thing but there’s no thrill there there’s no freakiness and experimentation like I want. 

When talking about sexual fantasies- I mention a threesone with a guy and girl and his eyes bulged out of his head- shocked. 

I mention how I might be into whips and choking and he looked so scared. Not sure if we have the same sexual chemistry and not sure how long this will last because of it- although I am trying hard to get to know him and with time maybe he would reveal a freaky side to him. He did however say he likes to be dominated by a woman and it turns him on. But I like to switch it up I wanna be dominated but also dominate so wondering if he could do that for me. He also seems to really have a foot fetish and shower fetish. Every time I see him he mentions he wants to wash my body down and massage my feet- I’m like umm okay sure you can- but I haven’t allowed him to do it yet cause I told him I can’t just shower with him without wanting to fuck him right after- I said it’s too much of a tease to do that. So basically all we do right now is cuddle, dry hump, I suck his dick and I finger myself till I fall asleep. Guess I’ll see how much longer this goes on. 

Tank also said he’ll eat pussy when we get more intimate 

Like how much more intimate do we need to get? 

I suck your dick but you can’t return the favor? 

This kinda irritates me- so not sure where this thing with Tank will go. The guys I choose are selfish as fuck when it comes to eating pussy.

I’m about to get me a female just so my pussy gets licked and some more attention 

Update on Don:

So I text him a dirty meme the other day cause it reminded me of him and the way he lays down the pipe 

He responds and says he wants to meet up

I’m tempted and might just meet with him this Sunday so I can get some action before next weekend 

It feels like forever that I had sex

Since all my dudes are long distance 

So not sure what will happen Sunday but I’ll deff keep my followers posted

Tyrone Update:

Tyrone and I are supposed to hang out sometime this week- but not 100% sure about that since he’s been so busy. 

Solo:

Pleasuring myself is the only way these days.

I’ve been fingering myself a lot these days and watching a lot of pornhub the blacked edition- which I love and it seems to be satisfying me. 

Just don’t know how much longer it will satisfy me until I erupt and want to just fuck everything and anything. 

Stay tuned for more sex stories that I am sure are on their way since I’ve been horny as fuck 

The pussy controls me and I think I’ll let it 

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Posted in Advice needed, Bye Bitch, Control freak, Counseling, Dating, Friend Zoned, Friends with benefits, Friendship, Help, Help wanted, Judgement, Knowledge, Life lessons, New relationship, Rant, Realistic, Revelation, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users

New guy

So I like the idea of having a new guy in my life and I am enjoying the feelings I get when I start talking and getting to know someone new. 

But do any of you ladies or gents, feel like you should keep the way you might feel about the new guy/girl to yourself, in case they turn out to be the opposite of what you hoped they’d be? 
So I’m asking this because the other day in a group text with my sister and gal pal, I am explaining to them about the new guy and how he seems nice and genuinely like a good guy. I go on and tell them all these good things about him and how he does this or that or how he wants to take me here or there. But I wonder in the back of my mind how truthful he’s being. I am on guard that these things he says aren’t truthful and I’m on guard for him to just see me once and not continue. 
Does anyone else fear or worry that the new guy or person they are interested in seeing will flip the switch and be someone totally different? 
I told my sister That whenever I tell people about a guy- the next week or so later I’m out of liking the person or trying with them due to something they did to not make me interested anymore. 

So wondering if this always happens, if I’m not the only one dealing with a scenario like this. 

Comment please if you ever dealt with anything in this blog, so I know I’m not alone in this. 

Posted in Advice needed, Army, Bye Bitch, Dating, Friends with benefits, Friendship, Help, Help wanted, Jerk, Life lessons, Loss, Military, Pros vs. Cons, Rant, Realistic, Revelation, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users

Pros vs. Cons

Pros vs. Cons of continuing dating/seeing Bill Yum:

Pros

Big dick

Great sex

Makes me oragsm- a lot! 

Makes my body feel good. 

Makes good moon shine 
Cons

Cheap

May be dating/fucking a lot more girls then he says

Lies

Doesn’t make time to see me

I’m always planning to go see him

Doesn’t make any effort

Dresses bad

Dry/boring personality 

Doesn’t talk about anything besides the military and his 3 jobs that I don’t care about

Every conversation is the same

Doesn’t actually take me out anywhere 

Just seems like I’m the occasional hookup 

Doesn’t text/call me first. 

I feel like I’m the only one trying to make it work. Whatever this is 
As I list these pros and cons I see the only pros are the fact that he pleases my body- my pussy and that’s all. Yea making my pussy feel amazing is great and all- but I want more substance. Not being able to converse with someone isn’t a good sign or any kind of friendship or relationship. I know what I must do now. Leave him in my past- where he should’ve stayed. I don’t trust him enough to believe that he’s only fucking me like he claims! So bill yum will just be a name in my past. I’m ready to get on to bigger and better guys who treat me with respect, who want to call me on the phone, who want to spend time with me and who makes the effort to come to my city to see me. 
What do you guys think of this list? How would you react? 

Posted in Army, Dating, Friends with benefits, Military, Realistic, Revelation, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users

Probably not the right guy for me. 

So I saw bill yum this past Saturday and it felt awkward. He hung out with me, my sister her bf and a girlfriend of mine. We were supposed to go bowling but ended up staying in and playing drinking card games. It was awkward cause I realized that me and him don’t really have too much of a conversation. I hadn’t realized it before cause every time we hung out before I was buzzed or drunk. It’s like things were totally different this time- he kinda annoyed me actually. I don’t know if it’s because I finally went out with Tank and he legit seems like a nice guy compared to Bill yum and I really loved being in his company- or if it’s just due to the fact that me and bill yum don’t really have anything in common but our want or lust for each other. The thing we have is strictly sex ad I’m over that. I want a good guy. I want and deserve a relationship full of trust and respect for one another. So hanging with him around my friends and sister opened my eyes. We barely talked and his personality was dry. I didn’t realize how cheap and boring he is and it turned me off a lot. So we left my sisters house and ended up just driving and watching movies in his car since he was drilling with the Army.it was awkward the whole time- I was a bit buzzed from drinking but I wasn’t feeling it at all. And was wishing I was with Tank instead. Bill yums phone even rang awkwardly when we were together and he thought I didn’t see the name but I did as he quickly grabbed for it to put it away. It said ladybug- probably one of the girls he’s seeing besides me- but I’m getting out of his life for good so I can start something good with Tank, maybe something long term. Not wasting my time with a guy who doesn’t deserve me. Bill yum is just sex to me and honestly we have nothing else in common

Posted in Army, Asshole, Control freak, Counseling, Dating, Dickhead, Divorce, Love, Marriage, Military, Narcissistic, Realistic, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users

Divorce will be bittersweet whenever it comes to an end. 

So I haven’t talked to much about the fact that I am sorta married still- but my divorce to my abusive ex has been pending for quite longer than I have expected. 

It’s actually going on close to 5 years now and I’m still not divorced! 

Yea every moment I thought I was closer to being free, but nope, not even close.

 The relationship/marriage I had with a narcissist control freak was hell for me.

 If you go read Rehatch that’ll give you an idea of the type of shit I dealt with being married to that guy so I won’t go into it too much. 

But I met him through the Marines where it felt like he was my knight in shining armor. He came to me at a Time where I was battling a few demons and he seemed to push the demons to the side and brighten my day with his smile. 

His smile soon faded and turned to anger which turned my smiles and laughter into tears. 

We dated for about 2 years before I married his dumbass. 

He was a psycho ready to snap. 

He threatened to kill himself on multiple occasions if I decided to leave him or dump him and he was mentally, emotionally and then became physically abusive towards me. I couldn’t wait to free myself from him and the toxic relationship we had together. 

There were times I wanted to kill myself because I wanted it to stop, I wanted him to stop. He beat me down to the point where I lost myself. 

I lost my self confidence, my self esteem and self worth. I started dressing Raggy and bummy and didn’t feel like myself. 

He controlled who I could see and where I could go. I was a slave within my own home. 

I luckily wised up and grew up once I had my daughter and left that terrible man and home behind. 

But to this day I feel like he is still tied down to me and I cant be totally free without the divorce decree telling him that I am finally free- that I won this battle! 

He finally has no control over the fact that he can no longer call me his wife! 

Which he still does, what a nut job, in the back of his mind he still thinks I’m coming back and we’re gonna be together. He tells my daughter that all the time. 

So I am patiently waiting for this divorce decree to come in the mail any day now so I can walk a little taller around him. I can boast about the fact that I am a survivor. I survived his abuse and I was able to rise above. 

That divorce decree means everything to me- it means my freedom. And it will give me my power back! 

Just my thoughts. 

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Feeling annoyed.

So I had a night of drunken oral on Friday night with the guy I didn’t think I’d ever do that with- and my sister in law found out through my drunken stooper and can’t look at me the same again. 

I think to myself damn am I that fucked up? Here I go again doing what I do best- fucking up and fucking around with the wrong guys. Supposedly Friday guy is a married man- well when I talked to him he said he’s separated so who am I to question- if he wants to lie it’s on him. I’m not a home wrecker. 

She looked at me with such disgust

But who is she to pass judgement on me 

She been flirting with this guy for years when we worked at the same job with him back in the day- so I’m wrong that he gave me some oral and it was amazing! 

Who is she to judge, When she has been nothing but a rotten mom for years and years and she has a lot more dirt on her then I actually have on me- 

Hate those types of people who judge others

Like your shit don’t stink. 

Rant over. 

So Friday guy gave the best oral ever- can’t remember the night other than that- but from the bits and pieces I do remember I know the oral was great and I was soaked to the bone. I had way to much to drink and ended up passing out on him- no sex with him- no penetration for me- but maybe that’s a good thing. 

I’m waiting on Tyrone to come back to town and bang me out- maybe spank and choke me and punish me a little. 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Army, Control freak, Counseling, Dating, Masturbate, Military, Realistic, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users

Mom first before anything 

So it’s weird Enrique was texting me the last two days asking if I had my daughter or not 

Yes I have her 

No I’m not dropping her to her dad

I can’t find a guy who is willing to just hang out every other weekend because I’m a mom full time and a student full time

He definitely wasn’t for me if he ends it after I say I have my daughter for the weekend

I’m sorry I take care of my child and don’t just pawn her off on her dad to go out on the weekends

In sorry you aren’t man enough to realize that I am a mom first before anything and I take care of her by myself full time

I’m sorry you have no patience and cant wait to see me next weekend when I’m available 

It’s annoying

 he seemed cool but seems dudes lately have been all the same

That’s why I gave up on dating

Not wasting time on these loser guys who want me to change me for them

And choose going out versus taking care of my daughter

Enrique wasn’t in the cards I suppose and I’m okay with that

I’m just wondering now how many new sex toys I need to buy since my little list of fucks are diminished now

Tyrone is leaving for a month for military training 

While monster is away and won’t be in Philly till November 

Don is annoying me and I don’t wanna restart that just to get dick 

So that leaves me with 0 guys left for me to play with

So I need to stock up on toys 

Maybe this is Gods sign to calm Down my problem 

so maybe I won’t need to get counseling 

I can just do it myself 

Guess I’ll see what happens next