So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about getting surgery to get a tummy tuck to get a flatter stomach. People are making me really think about it and tell me I have to really know whether I want to have more kids or not- I honestly don’t see myself having anymore kids because I feel like the first pregnancy scarred me emotionally so I am steering away from the whole baby on board idea. But since I’ve been on a few dates with Tank I can honestly see having another baby and maybe it wouldn’t be the same experience I’ve had the first time. Maybe with each guy it could be different/ if I find me a guy who actually cares and loves me I won’t get treated like shit as I did the first time I was pregnant. I notice I keep holding on to the past and I gotta let it go- not every guy is the same as my ex and they won’t all give me a bad experience in babies and pregnancy. Whether it’s Tank or Bill yum or even the new guy or none of these guys…. I need to stay open minded not to compare the past with the present and future. I need to open my mind and heart to the possibilities that hey I am still of birthing age and hey maybe having a brother or sister for my daughter in the future wouldn’t be so bad. So I guess tummY tuck you will have to wait until my eggs are all dried out and no more.
Not sure wether or not there would be so many sexcapades on here. I’ll deff post some older ones that I haven’t posted yet-
but I think I’m at the point where I’m getting to know the guys by dating And less and less sex type things.
I want a good guy and i want to have someone to call my own
so I gotta stop the sleeping around and hookups that don’t last.
So not sure how many followers wanna read about finding love versus sexual stories- but Sierras Sexcapades is turning into something a little different.
Many of my blogs will be about my search for love and will be more of a dating search and find versus sex experiences.
Maybe I’m maturing and growing up so my blog is changing with me.
Hope you guys continue to follow and check out my blogs.
My explorations of dating and finding love.
This will be a blog within a blog-
Enjoy and stay tuned.
So Bill yum is still in the picture and he’s my random dating guy- fuck me good- long distance lover guy- he’s still living far away from me and he rarely comes to philly to see me other than when he’s up here for Army weekends.
He messaged me today and sent me the most arousing sexy photo of himself in a towel that was half covering his body and covered up his male part.
Oh my lawd it caught me off guard and I was smiling and grinning from ear to ear also blushing. I text him back and tell him how fucking sexy he looks. He says he doesn’t believe me and doesn’t think he’s sexy. Yea right how’s he not know? I wondered to myself.
So anyway we are supposed to hang out sometime this month I think around St.Pattys day and im looking forward to it-
I’d really like to spend the night At his house again but not sure when I’d be back up that way- if at all any time soon.
I know it’s not gonna go anywhere with Bill yum but I guess I’m clinging on to the past-
idk maybe hoping for a future but not sure what the future holds if there is one for us.
These long distance things are the most difficult- I feel like even being like 30 mins away from someone is difficult cause you don’t know what they could be doing or who they are seeing. Take the situation with Don- he lives in a different neighborhood then me and I always felt like what is he doing or who is he seeing from the distance between us).
Or maybe that’s where my trust issues come into play and I just am on guard that any guy I am with is out to lie and cheat on me, so trust is hard for me to have.
When I think of an ideal boyfriend for me, he’d live in the same city and at least the same neighborhood just so maybe it would put my mind at ease a bit on the whole cheating thing-
but when you think about it if a guys gonna cheat- he will no matter how close or far he lives from you.
Just a rant of thoughts.
Thanks for listening.
So I like the idea of having a new guy in my life and I am enjoying the feelings I get when I start talking and getting to know someone new.
But do any of you ladies or gents, feel like you should keep the way you might feel about the new guy/girl to yourself, in case they turn out to be the opposite of what you hoped they’d be?
So I’m asking this because the other day in a group text with my sister and gal pal, I am explaining to them about the new guy and how he seems nice and genuinely like a good guy. I go on and tell them all these good things about him and how he does this or that or how he wants to take me here or there. But I wonder in the back of my mind how truthful he’s being. I am on guard that these things he says aren’t truthful and I’m on guard for him to just see me once and not continue.
Does anyone else fear or worry that the new guy or person they are interested in seeing will flip the switch and be someone totally different?
I told my sister That whenever I tell people about a guy- the next week or so later I’m out of liking the person or trying with them due to something they did to not make me interested anymore.
So wondering if this always happens, if I’m not the only one dealing with a scenario like this.
Comment please if you ever dealt with anything in this blog, so I know I’m not alone in this.
Pros vs. Cons of continuing dating/seeing Bill Yum:
Makes me oragsm- a lot!
Makes my body feel good.
Makes good moon shine
May be dating/fucking a lot more girls then he says
Doesn’t make time to see me
I’m always planning to go see him
Doesn’t make any effort
Doesn’t talk about anything besides the military and his 3 jobs that I don’t care about
Every conversation is the same
Doesn’t actually take me out anywhere
Just seems like I’m the occasional hookup
Doesn’t text/call me first.
I feel like I’m the only one trying to make it work. Whatever this is
As I list these pros and cons I see the only pros are the fact that he pleases my body- my pussy and that’s all. Yea making my pussy feel amazing is great and all- but I want more substance. Not being able to converse with someone isn’t a good sign or any kind of friendship or relationship. I know what I must do now. Leave him in my past- where he should’ve stayed. I don’t trust him enough to believe that he’s only fucking me like he claims! So bill yum will just be a name in my past. I’m ready to get on to bigger and better guys who treat me with respect, who want to call me on the phone, who want to spend time with me and who makes the effort to come to my city to see me.
What do you guys think of this list? How would you react?
So I saw bill yum this past Saturday and it felt awkward. He hung out with me, my sister her bf and a girlfriend of mine. We were supposed to go bowling but ended up staying in and playing drinking card games. It was awkward cause I realized that me and him don’t really have too much of a conversation. I hadn’t realized it before cause every time we hung out before I was buzzed or drunk. It’s like things were totally different this time- he kinda annoyed me actually. I don’t know if it’s because I finally went out with Tank and he legit seems like a nice guy compared to Bill yum and I really loved being in his company- or if it’s just due to the fact that me and bill yum don’t really have anything in common but our want or lust for each other. The thing we have is strictly sex ad I’m over that. I want a good guy. I want and deserve a relationship full of trust and respect for one another. So hanging with him around my friends and sister opened my eyes. We barely talked and his personality was dry. I didn’t realize how cheap and boring he is and it turned me off a lot. So we left my sisters house and ended up just driving and watching movies in his car since he was drilling with the Army.it was awkward the whole time- I was a bit buzzed from drinking but I wasn’t feeling it at all. And was wishing I was with Tank instead. Bill yums phone even rang awkwardly when we were together and he thought I didn’t see the name but I did as he quickly grabbed for it to put it away. It said ladybug- probably one of the girls he’s seeing besides me- but I’m getting out of his life for good so I can start something good with Tank, maybe something long term. Not wasting my time with a guy who doesn’t deserve me. Bill yum is just sex to me and honestly we have nothing else in common