Posted in Counseling, Dating, Friends with benefits, Friendship, Help, Help wanted, Judgement, Knowledge, Life lessons, Love, Love making, Marriage, Military, Missing him, New relationship, Online Dating, Rant, Realistic, Revelation, Search, Single, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized

Blogs turning into a search and find. 

Not sure wether or not there would be so many sexcapades on here. I’ll deff post some older ones that I haven’t posted yet-

 but I think I’m at the point where I’m getting to know the guys by dating And less and less sex type things.

 I want a good guy and i want to have someone to call my own 

so I gotta stop the sleeping around and hookups that don’t last. 

So not sure how many followers wanna read about finding love versus sexual stories- but Sierras Sexcapades is turning into something a little different. 

Many of my blogs will be about my search for love and will be more of a dating search and find versus sex experiences. 

 Maybe I’m maturing and growing up so my blog is changing with me. 

Hope you guys continue to follow and check out my blogs. 

My explorations of dating and finding love. 

This will be a blog within a blog- 

Enjoy and stay tuned. 

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Posted in Advice needed, Dating, Dickhead, Help, Love, Online Dating, Realistic, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users, Vagina, pussy, penetrating

20 followers so far! Awesome……

Kinda shocked that I have at least 20 followers- and feeling kinda proud that people wanna read about my sexcapades and failed attempts at relationships.

Update: 

So I’m trying to figure out how to nicely get rid of Don in my life- like he can’t take the hint that I am always busy.

 I’m a busy woman, a full time mom, and a grad student who is establishing herself so she can have a stable future.

plus I am bored with the usual night time meetings and always giving head in the back of a car. 

It’s weird when I want it I want it but when it’s when a guy wants it, 

it rubs me the wrong way and I am hesitant to want to give it up. 
Who is he to call the shots? 

I’m the one with the pussy 

and 

I’m catching on to his game- 

Or maybe for the fact I have others like Monster or Tyrone occasionally banging me out I no longer need the repetitive bs that me and Don have.

I wonder why I need to have this control? 

Wondering if it all stems from my addiction? 

Do addicts especially Sex addicts need to be in control? 

Maybe it’s not even about control maybe it’s the fact that I’m sick of being used. 

(Even though Don is in this weirdo world that he thinks he’s my bf- I feel like I’m being used)

How convenient to text me today and call me randomly, when you haven’t called me in the whole almost three years we have been friends/talking!!!

I see a missed call from him on my phone( that’s odd so I text back) me: what’s up I’m in school

Don:

I miss my baby he replies. 
Ummm…. okay yea whatever. Thinking in the back of my head- he must need his dick sucked

I lie and say I can’t talk right now and mention maybe doing dinner 

How about 6pm? I say. 

Nah I can’t, the traffic and all this bs- 8pm will work better he texts back. 

I text back I gotta see about a sitter that late- not sure I have one- only had one earlier. Then I stop texting him.

So when he says he wants to make the time I’m supposed to just hop on it? 

Nah dude not me anymore. I don’t need to have him in my life and need to have him saying when things go

yea I see how this shit goes- he plays this shit every time 

Would’ve been dejavu for me- he does this every time- 

(He sounds like what my teenage niece calls a fuckboi)

Pushes the time further back-

Plans to meet for dinner and he ends up eating, 

he says he’s sorry for eating, 

and then we end up stopping at a gas station 

where he buys condoms, 

gum 

and water 

then we drive to our “spot” 

Which in reality isn’t our spot because I actually take other dudes there to fuck them- 

(The last time I fucked Monster in his car we were there- in your face Don- monster has a bigger cock)

but whatever he can have that dream of us having something only for us

That dream with his dream of us actually being a couple which is hilarious to me. 

I’m at the point where I’m just like I hope he gets the hint and just stops bugging me- maybe loses my number for good. 

I mean it’s just annoying to me. 

So how do you get rid of a guy who you’ve been trying to get rid of for quite a few years now? I 

need some advice, maybe I don’t wanna be harsh, maybe I should just say I’m not a relationship type of girl and I have to end it- 

although I recall being down this road before with him and he fights to keep me and we end up just being fwb and everything gets okay for a bit then things get awkward all over again. 

Damn I make things complicated. 

Followers any thoughts on how to gently brush a guy off and ending a  so-called relationship that I really don’t want to take part in?  Any advice would be helpful. 

Thanks guys. 

I’ll have an update on Tyrone possibly Friday- I’m supposed to meet up with him then. 

And I have a real date with a hopefully normal new guy on Saturday- his name is Tank. 

I’ll update you guys on him later. Guess I didn’t totally give up on dating and trying to find “the one”. 

All hope is not lost for me. 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Asshole, Dating, Friend Zoned, Online Dating, Realistic, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized

Friend Zoned

So I met Anthony through a mutual friend we have on Facebook. He messaged me about a response I had put on my friends page and we started to converse with each other. The conversations were pretty normal ones and he seemed harmless at first little did I know how obsessed he would get with me.

So we chat on Facebook I friend him and he starts liking all my posts and stuff like that. 

He finally has the courage to ask me on a date. 

At this point in my life I was attempting to leave black guys alone for a bit and was going to try and date white guys only even if I wasn’t attracted to them physically.

 I wanted to try and go out with someone who had a nice personality over good looks- so I said yes to the date.

So we go eat at the same restaurant bar I usually take all my new dates- the one close to my house so if I need to jet out of there I am close enough to home. 

So we eat and drink a few drinks and just talk 

We talked a lot and it was cool

He was dressed really nice and he wasn’t at all like his photo on Facebook well he seemed to have looked a bit better……

until the moment he took off his hat

Oye I wish he never took the hat off

He had the worse balding I’ve ever seen for a 33 year old man! 

Ahhh I thought to myself

And then the second thing happened which turned me off beyond compare 

He smiled and those teeth were brown and black

He must’ve been a smoker or a recent smoker 

I’ve never seen anything like it 

I’m not all about looks and I’ve been with a few ugly ones in my day but oh God this was terrible 

So we finish our date and we hug good bye

There’s no way in hell im having sex with that I thought to myself

But as I always think to myself or expect that I wouldn’t do something— I go and do the opposite 

So we continue to talk and text on the phone have a few more dates- well I called them non dates cause I don’t like labels

Labels=pressure which then I run away from. 

But anyway we go on dates and I like the attention and the money he spends on me- 

So we continue to hang out

One night he invited me out to get drinks at his house

It was cool that he had his own place

We got some food and took it back to his house along with a bottle of fireball and some beer

BIG MISTAKE! Getting the fireball- 

I ended up drinking more then I should because I kinda wanted to drink away the fact that he was ugly and that I actually was at his house alone with him. 

What had my life led me to? 

So I drank almost a whole bottle of fireball with this annoying ugly dude- (annoying because he’s obnoxiously loud and always is complaining about his dead end job that he won’t leave because I guess he loves to get treated like shit and used like a pussy) 

Anyway so I’m drunk as fuck by this point that he makes a move and kisses me

My drunk ass takes it to the point we are now naked on his couch

I wish I could burn this memory out of my mind forever but I can not do such a thing- 

my regret and disgust won’t let me forget the way his sweaty hairy fat belly looked with his stubby short hairy legs.

 Dear God as I write this I envision it and throw up in my mouth a bit- yes here goes a few chunks-

So his sweaty hairy body is now on top of me- and I see the smallest dick I’ve ever seen in my life struggling to get up- 

Omg- and not in a, I want you to fuck me now type of way. 

So before he puts his little thingy in my dry puss he goes down on me and gives me oral pleasures

Yea it was okay

Guess the oral was the only thing going for him since he’s 

fat

Ugly 

Obnoxious

Annoying

Balding

And has bad teeth

Damn I’m an asshole 

So anyway he goes down on me and he’s licks me 

It’s

Not the greatest but okay 

So I let out a few moans mostly fake moans so I can boost his ego a bit

Then that’s where it happens after the oral sex I drunk stagger to the steps and fall over with my ass facing him

That’s when he tries to doggy me on the steps

He couldn’t get his little dick inside me 

He was fidgeting and trying to put it in

I didn’t know what the fuck he was doing behind me but it took forever for him to finally be inside me and it was the lightest penetration I’ve ever felt 

I guess since it was so small I couldn’t really feel it well not from doggy anyway

So we go to the bedroom and I plop on the bed 

He wants to try again to put it in

I fake some more moans and he busts

Oh thank God it’s over with

Oh dear God why the fuck did I stoop this low

What the fuck is wrong with me? 

I seriously lay there disgusted with myself for getting drunk and fucking him- 

and I tell him he needs to drive me home, I gotta go home. 

And he did so immediately. 

After that happened he kept bringing  it up and I kept telling him sorry it won’t happen again I was so drunk and shouldn’t have done that

I also lie and say I don’t even remember it- 

I tell him I’m sorry I led him on but I don’t have time to date and I’m not looking for a relationship 

I said we will be friends and that’s all I can be

All I have time for is school

In reality yea I don’t really have time to date but I’ll make time if I like the guy

He repulsed me and I couldn’t imagine having sober sex with him

Actually going out as friends annoyed the shit out of me too cause he was so loud and obnoxious everywhere we went

I continued to friend zone him 

although he kept trying to insist on a relationship 

and how he just constantly responds on Facebook to every post or photo I post with your hot or you are beautiful as always and all this other stuff 

that has me at the point where I’m like knock it off

Cause there’s a few guys I’m trying to talk to on Facebook and he’s fucking it up by his posts

He comes off as if he’s my boyfriend and he’s nothing close to that

He was a drunk mistake that I wish I could take back

I never felt so disgusted about sex with anyone in my life like I am with him. 

And it wasn’t even like it was good- I wouldn’t even call it actual penetration. 

It was like a sweaty fat sticky hairy beast on top of me just plopping in and out on me- with a small sausage link not even hitting the surface. 

That’s how I describe the terrible sex with him. 

What the fuck Sierra you will never get to that point in your life again no matter what! 

Posted in Asshole, Dating, Online Dating, Realistic, Submissive, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating

Online Dating is not for me! 

So I met Tim on a dating site-

Hey don’t judge me

It was my first time exploring dating sites and figured what the hell let me try it out

So we started talking through the site and he seemed half decent so we planned a date to meet

I chose a local restaurant bar that was in my neighborhood- so I’d be closer to home if he was a wacko 

We met at the place and we hugged at our first meeting 

We had talked on the phone previously and that helped break the ice a bit 

So when we met it wasn’t as awakward

It was like meeting a friend 

We talked a lot 

I had some food 

Had a few drinks 

Then we decided to go to the park and feed the ducks

It was nice 

A date where I didn’t put out on the first time together 

I was so proud of myself

Or maybe I didn’t put out because he really wasn’t the ideal guy or usual guy I went after

He was a tall somewhat stocky white guy

First white guy in a long time for me

So we went on a date and kept texting

He came from Jersey to visit me often and we went on quite a few dates after that

We ended up going on a road trip to Mount Joy, PA and just chilled at a B&B there. 

This was the first time we were able to hang out and possibly hook up outside of a car setting which we had previously been doing after our dinner dates

So I figured it has been about 2 months I was ready to get some penetration in my life…

I was totally wrong about that.

So we show up to the B&B and it’s awkward as hell

It’s inside a woman’s home and there were other couples there

Even a couple with their two boys

How the fuck will I fuck in this house?

 I’m too loud and everyone in this house will hear me- which would be so embarrassing.

So i tried to make some moves on Tim- but he kept swatting me away and didn’t want to fuck 

Really dude it was two months we were together that’s enough time I thought to get down

I keep attempting to get him aroused and he barely got up

Wtf was I off my game or something cause usually guys get hard and very aroused when I start playing with them

I even started sucking his average white man size cock to help persuade him that I was ready to go…… and nothing

By this point im irritated and pissed off 

So I go in the bathroom to just cool off plus I decided I was going to take a bath in the huge whirlpool tub

In the tub I fingered the shit out of myself to get me off since apparently this dude couldn’t and wouldn’t get me off

I remember I packed a naughty 2 piece lingerie set to help spice it up 

I don’t usually do the lingerie thing but for him I bought it cause I wanted to get fucked

So I put it on and it looked great on me 

There’s no way he could turn me down now

So I walk out the bathroom and he sees me he gets aroused 

but he still doesn’t want to fuck

He just goes down on me and licks my pussy 

I sorta get off cause the head was pretty good and I figured that’s the only thing I’m getting so I better enjoy that shit 

He’s down there for like 20 mins going in 

So it helped satisfy my need of some type of penetration 

The following times we go to hotels to just chill he’s the same way

He doesn’t want to have sex

He just wants to make out and go down on me or do 69 

Wtf! 

I need penetration! 

We were at the hotel and I did the same thing

I straddled him and he rose but he said he wasn’t ready to have sex yet

Maybe I’m too agressive or maybe he was a bit taken back because I did say he was the first white guy I really had so maybe he felt like he couldn’t satisfy me like black guys could but I didn’t care I just wanted him to try.,,,, but nope

I got head, some fingering which I could’ve done myself and some kissing  which was subpar 

He even had the audacity to actually lift me off of him when I tried to straddle him

By this last time I was at the point where I knew it was the end

It was weird he didn’t want to have sex

He also had some crazy fantasies he wanted to do with me which I wasn’t down for

He mentioned that it would turn him on if I peed on him 

Wtf! Dude that’s sick! 

He also liked me to belittle him, 

call him names and slap him around.

 I was intrigued and actually did a little of those things besides the peeing, but it didn’t last.

I wanted him to throw me on the bed and ravage me like a beast but he wanted to be the one who was ravaged- 

so we didn’t have the same sexual chemistry or desires

I ended up breaking it off with him and telling him to have a good life

I wasn’t the girl for him.