Posted in Counseling, Dating, Friends with benefits, Friendship, Help, Help wanted, Judgement, Knowledge, Life lessons, Love, Love making, Marriage, Military, Missing him, New relationship, Online Dating, Rant, Realistic, Revelation, Search, Single, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized

Blogs turning into a search and find. 

Not sure wether or not there would be so many sexcapades on here. I’ll deff post some older ones that I haven’t posted yet-

 but I think I’m at the point where I’m getting to know the guys by dating And less and less sex type things.

 I want a good guy and i want to have someone to call my own 

so I gotta stop the sleeping around and hookups that don’t last. 

So not sure how many followers wanna read about finding love versus sexual stories- but Sierras Sexcapades is turning into something a little different. 

Many of my blogs will be about my search for love and will be more of a dating search and find versus sex experiences. 

 Maybe I’m maturing and growing up so my blog is changing with me. 

Hope you guys continue to follow and check out my blogs. 

My explorations of dating and finding love. 

This will be a blog within a blog- 

Enjoy and stay tuned. 

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Posted in Advice needed, Army, Arousing, Dating, erotica, Friends with benefits, Friendship, Life lessons, Love, Military, Missing him, Orgasms, Rant, Realistic, Revelation, Sex, Single, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized

Bill yummy 

So Bill yum is still in the picture and he’s my random dating guy- fuck me good- long distance lover guy- he’s still living far away from me and he rarely comes to philly to see me other than when he’s up here for Army weekends.

 He messaged me today and sent me the most arousing sexy photo of himself in a towel that was half covering his body and covered up his male part. 

Oh my lawd it caught me off guard and I was smiling and grinning from ear to ear also blushing. I text him back and tell him how fucking sexy he looks. He says he doesn’t believe me and doesn’t think he’s sexy. Yea right how’s he not know? I wondered to myself. 

So anyway we are supposed to hang out sometime this month I think around St.Pattys day and im looking forward to it-

 I’d really like to spend the night At his house again but not sure when I’d be back up that way- if at all any time soon. 

I know it’s not gonna go anywhere with Bill yum but I guess I’m clinging on to the past- 

idk maybe hoping for a future but not sure what the future holds if there is one for us. 

These long distance things are the most difficult- I feel like even being like 30 mins away from someone is difficult cause you don’t know what they could be doing or who they are seeing. Take the situation with Don- he lives in a different neighborhood then me and I always felt like what is he doing or who is he seeing from the distance between us). 

Or maybe that’s where my trust issues come into play and I just am on guard that any guy I am with is out to lie and cheat on me, so trust is hard for me to have. 

When I think of an ideal boyfriend for me, he’d live in the same city and at least the same neighborhood just so maybe it would put my mind at ease a bit on the whole cheating thing-

 but when you think about it if a guys gonna cheat- he will no matter how close or far he lives from you. 
Just a rant of thoughts. 

Thanks for listening. 

Posted in Army, Dating, Friendship, Military, Missing him, New relationship, Realistic, True life, real, me,

I Finally went out with Tank 

So I had mentioned this new guy in my life named Tank. I met him through the military and didn’t approach him about my feelings for him and wanting to get to know him until after I got out the military. We started talking on the phone and texting since last year around march. We are at the beginning stages of getting to know each other and I like it. 

So we were supposed to meet up a few months back/ the first time I was being too shy and was a no show and made up an excuse and the second time it snowed really bad and I couldn’t go out with him cause I don’t drive well in the snow. So we finally hung out Friday night and it was cool. We talked about the military and I asked about his job. We talked about our interests and he was talking about making future plans to see me and do things with me. After talking to my sister about him, she said it’s a good sign that he’s talking bout future plans with me, so he must really like me. I never thought about that before. But it makes sense. I wanna see him more, the only downfall to this Is the fact that he lived on another state. I live in PA and he lives in MD. My car has made it to Lancaster and I wasn’t even sure it would, now I wonder if it would make it to another state. 

So we had pizza and just talked. He didn’t pressure me to have sex and didn’t even make a move on me, so to me that is a great thing. I told him I wanna go slow, with the sex and all and want to get to know him first. We ended up just making out a lot, and cuddling in his hotel room- yea I know- I’m surprised nothing happened other than that. But it was nice.. it felt normal and great with my body next to his. I fit perfectly on his chest. I told him of my goals and how I want to join the military again after I get my social worker license and he supports me. He’s rooting for me to succeed and encourages me to do the things I want to. He also said he’d help me with exercising and even getting my shooting up at the range, so I’d be ready. He tells me I’m beautiful and makes me feel good. I like the start of this and am looking forward to seeing where this goes. 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Arousing, Celibacy, Control freak, Dating, Friendship, Life lessons, Love, Missing him, Realistic, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating

He’s back in my life 

So…. ….

I’ve decided to let Don back into my life…..

I remembered all the good things that he helped me do and encouraged me to do. 

The main reason I let him back in was due to something my friend Tyrone was saying about the guys I like and telling me about how people are set in your life for certain reasons. He also said be with someone who wants to better you and wants you to better you. 

I always had a connection with Don since the first day we started to talk on Facebook and through the phone. 

Then we had an even bigger connection when we met for the first time in person. 

When we hung out tonight- all these warm fuzzy feelings came back to me-I think I may have loved him at one point- and it feels like those feelings were coming back- maybe they never left. 

I missed looking at his mysterious brown eyes and looking at his sexy lips as he talked to me. I really missed our conversations. 

We haven’t seen each other in three months and when we met up- we got right into our conversation and chatted for a while. 

I so wanted to kiss him.

And my heart felt full when in his presence 

It’s a crazy kind of feeling I have for him and when I am around him

I’m wondering if I’m falling all over again or if I fell for him before but always pushed away the feelings of it cause I was scared and made up every excuse to avoid being with him- like I always do. 

So we talked about going the relationship route in 2017- and I said it sounds great! I jokingly said I have to work on me this final week and learn to just trust and not worry so much. 

I also thought when in relationships you jump all in- but he said to go slow and go into it gradually.

 I really wanna do this and I wanna have him in my life. 

I know I have him in my life now but on a friend level- but I think I’m ready to have him on the bf level. I guess time will tell and I’ll see what my next move is.

Oh I told him about my sex addiction tonight and how I’m working on me and being celibate for a while until the guy I’m with is worthy of my good good. He said he respects it and won’t pressure me. He said whenever I’m ready for sex, is when it will happen. He also learned that I love being spanked and choked in the bedroom and I’m surprised he wasn’t to taken back by any of it. He actually told me he thought I had an addiction so he sorta already knew. 

I’m ready to find and hold on to love in 2017- it’s my time to be happy. 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Army, Arousing, Life lessons, Loss, Military, Missing him, Rant, Realistic, Sex, Sex toy, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating, Vibrator

Vibrators

So I just ordered a ton of sex toys for myself so I can get myself nice and wet since I haven’t had a guy to help me out in that department. 

If I finally decide to have sex 

I’m going to be so tight down there since I haven’t been fucking anyone

So the next time I am with a man it might actually feel different

Maybe I should every so often take a break from guys and sex so I can experience what it feels like to not have a dick in between my legs and keep my pussy tighter.

I’m hoping these vibrators do their job and satisfy me

I know it isn’t a guy and a real life dick but I need to curb my appetite and I feel like this is one way I could do it.

Monster is coming to town in two weeks and I think I’m going to plan to meet up with him.

I miss him in my life. 

I know he’s probably wrong for me on so many levels

But I’m usually attracted to the guys who are in fact wrong for me. 

Update on brothers friend Bob… so apparently he did go to rehab.. so his facebook post states and his friends are concerned… but he’s back to his old ways… in the bar drinking away his sorrows or whatever he drinks away for. Guess he didn’t care about me like I did for him. Guess I was just someone for him to do at the time- cause he did not text, call or message me through social media to let me know he’s back home and done with rehab. Oh well guys will be guys. And he is a douchebag because I would’ve made an awesome girlfriend to him. Hey we win some, we lose some. On to the next is what I always say! 
So I’ve been in contact with monster for the past month and he’s gonna be getting a hotel room when he comes to visit. 

He’s close with one of my older brothers and is going to my brothers for a party- so I might just go to my brothers that day looking irresistible. I plan to do some dirty things with him in my brothers bathroom, in monsters car, and hopefully all night in the hotel room. 

Glad I’m saving my pussy for someone I actually care and have feelings for- not just for a random hookup. 

Making some progress and now I know how to control myself, and I know I didn’t die going these last two-three months without actual penetration- so I will be alright. 

I am growing and improving with each day. Each day I am getting stronger and stronger in this fight.

Addiction will not overcome me.

I will not fall

I am stronger then I think 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Army, Control freak, Counseling, Dating, Loss, Military, Missing him, Rant, Realistic, Sex, True life, real, me,

Update

haven’t blogged in a while 

Guess I’m doing a little soul searching

Sick and tired of feeling used 

And using guys

So taking a break from dating and hooking up for a while

I didn’t like the road I was going down

Needed to slow down 

And not self destruct

I want to find a guy who’s worthy 

One I can wait to have sex with someone who wants Me for me and not just for the pussy I have between my legs 

I love sex 

But I think it’s time to hold off for the one who is going to be the one I want for a while

Flings and hooking up is my past 

And I want more 

So I am on the path to recovery

Searching within myself to get stronger

Fight these temptations that I have just to call up Don or even hook up with Monster when he’s in town.

I do however miss someone but I know it won’t get to the point where we could want and need each other more then just as sex buddies. 

Tyrone is always on my mind but he is like the others just a fuck buddy 

I no longer want to play second string to a guy 

I only wanna be number 1

So until I find that

I will remain alone

Working on Me and fixing my situation

Patiently waiting for my turn up at bat and actually taking the win all the way home…. 

I wanna play for keeps 

Or at least make it past 2 months 

So time to heal and work on meim gonna stop looking 

And let love find me 

Posted in Loss, Missing him, Uncategorized

Missing Don 

I have no idea why but I miss hanging with Don- 

I know I have self doubt and I have a feeling that I’m not his only one but I like him

Yea he annoys me with his repetitive bs of always hanging out together but I miss talking to him as a person

I guess lately I’ve just been in a mood

A bit depressed feeling about school and my struggle in life

So It’s making me miss him more then I thought I would

Just wanted to share with you guys