So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about getting surgery to get a tummy tuck to get a flatter stomach. People are making me really think about it and tell me I have to really know whether I want to have more kids or not- I honestly don’t see myself having anymore kids because I feel like the first pregnancy scarred me emotionally so I am steering away from the whole baby on board idea. But since I’ve been on a few dates with Tank I can honestly see having another baby and maybe it wouldn’t be the same experience I’ve had the first time. Maybe with each guy it could be different/ if I find me a guy who actually cares and loves me I won’t get treated like shit as I did the first time I was pregnant. I notice I keep holding on to the past and I gotta let it go- not every guy is the same as my ex and they won’t all give me a bad experience in babies and pregnancy. Whether it’s Tank or Bill yum or even the new guy or none of these guys…. I need to stay open minded not to compare the past with the present and future. I need to open my mind and heart to the possibilities that hey I am still of birthing age and hey maybe having a brother or sister for my daughter in the future wouldn’t be so bad. So I guess tummY tuck you will have to wait until my eggs are all dried out and no more.
Not sure wether or not there would be so many sexcapades on here. I’ll deff post some older ones that I haven’t posted yet-
but I think I’m at the point where I’m getting to know the guys by dating And less and less sex type things.
I want a good guy and i want to have someone to call my own
so I gotta stop the sleeping around and hookups that don’t last.
So not sure how many followers wanna read about finding love versus sexual stories- but Sierras Sexcapades is turning into something a little different.
Many of my blogs will be about my search for love and will be more of a dating search and find versus sex experiences.
Maybe I’m maturing and growing up so my blog is changing with me.
Hope you guys continue to follow and check out my blogs.
My explorations of dating and finding love.
This will be a blog within a blog-
Enjoy and stay tuned.
So Bill yum is still in the picture and he’s my random dating guy- fuck me good- long distance lover guy- he’s still living far away from me and he rarely comes to philly to see me other than when he’s up here for Army weekends.
He messaged me today and sent me the most arousing sexy photo of himself in a towel that was half covering his body and covered up his male part.
Oh my lawd it caught me off guard and I was smiling and grinning from ear to ear also blushing. I text him back and tell him how fucking sexy he looks. He says he doesn’t believe me and doesn’t think he’s sexy. Yea right how’s he not know? I wondered to myself.
So anyway we are supposed to hang out sometime this month I think around St.Pattys day and im looking forward to it-
I’d really like to spend the night At his house again but not sure when I’d be back up that way- if at all any time soon.
I know it’s not gonna go anywhere with Bill yum but I guess I’m clinging on to the past-
idk maybe hoping for a future but not sure what the future holds if there is one for us.
These long distance things are the most difficult- I feel like even being like 30 mins away from someone is difficult cause you don’t know what they could be doing or who they are seeing. Take the situation with Don- he lives in a different neighborhood then me and I always felt like what is he doing or who is he seeing from the distance between us).
Or maybe that’s where my trust issues come into play and I just am on guard that any guy I am with is out to lie and cheat on me, so trust is hard for me to have.
When I think of an ideal boyfriend for me, he’d live in the same city and at least the same neighborhood just so maybe it would put my mind at ease a bit on the whole cheating thing-
but when you think about it if a guys gonna cheat- he will no matter how close or far he lives from you.
Just a rant of thoughts.
Thanks for listening.
So I like the idea of having a new guy in my life and I am enjoying the feelings I get when I start talking and getting to know someone new.
But do any of you ladies or gents, feel like you should keep the way you might feel about the new guy/girl to yourself, in case they turn out to be the opposite of what you hoped they’d be?
So I’m asking this because the other day in a group text with my sister and gal pal, I am explaining to them about the new guy and how he seems nice and genuinely like a good guy. I go on and tell them all these good things about him and how he does this or that or how he wants to take me here or there. But I wonder in the back of my mind how truthful he’s being. I am on guard that these things he says aren’t truthful and I’m on guard for him to just see me once and not continue.
Does anyone else fear or worry that the new guy or person they are interested in seeing will flip the switch and be someone totally different?
I told my sister That whenever I tell people about a guy- the next week or so later I’m out of liking the person or trying with them due to something they did to not make me interested anymore.
So wondering if this always happens, if I’m not the only one dealing with a scenario like this.
Comment please if you ever dealt with anything in this blog, so I know I’m not alone in this.
Pros vs. Cons of continuing dating/seeing Bill Yum:
Makes me oragsm- a lot!
Makes my body feel good.
Makes good moon shine
May be dating/fucking a lot more girls then he says
Doesn’t make time to see me
I’m always planning to go see him
Doesn’t make any effort
Doesn’t talk about anything besides the military and his 3 jobs that I don’t care about
Every conversation is the same
Doesn’t actually take me out anywhere
Just seems like I’m the occasional hookup
Doesn’t text/call me first.
I feel like I’m the only one trying to make it work. Whatever this is
As I list these pros and cons I see the only pros are the fact that he pleases my body- my pussy and that’s all. Yea making my pussy feel amazing is great and all- but I want more substance. Not being able to converse with someone isn’t a good sign or any kind of friendship or relationship. I know what I must do now. Leave him in my past- where he should’ve stayed. I don’t trust him enough to believe that he’s only fucking me like he claims! So bill yum will just be a name in my past. I’m ready to get on to bigger and better guys who treat me with respect, who want to call me on the phone, who want to spend time with me and who makes the effort to come to my city to see me.
What do you guys think of this list? How would you react?
So I had mentioned this new guy in my life named Tank. I met him through the military and didn’t approach him about my feelings for him and wanting to get to know him until after I got out the military. We started talking on the phone and texting since last year around march. We are at the beginning stages of getting to know each other and I like it.
So we were supposed to meet up a few months back/ the first time I was being too shy and was a no show and made up an excuse and the second time it snowed really bad and I couldn’t go out with him cause I don’t drive well in the snow. So we finally hung out Friday night and it was cool. We talked about the military and I asked about his job. We talked about our interests and he was talking about making future plans to see me and do things with me. After talking to my sister about him, she said it’s a good sign that he’s talking bout future plans with me, so he must really like me. I never thought about that before. But it makes sense. I wanna see him more, the only downfall to this Is the fact that he lived on another state. I live in PA and he lives in MD. My car has made it to Lancaster and I wasn’t even sure it would, now I wonder if it would make it to another state.
So we had pizza and just talked. He didn’t pressure me to have sex and didn’t even make a move on me, so to me that is a great thing. I told him I wanna go slow, with the sex and all and want to get to know him first. We ended up just making out a lot, and cuddling in his hotel room- yea I know- I’m surprised nothing happened other than that. But it was nice.. it felt normal and great with my body next to his. I fit perfectly on his chest. I told him of my goals and how I want to join the military again after I get my social worker license and he supports me. He’s rooting for me to succeed and encourages me to do the things I want to. He also said he’d help me with exercising and even getting my shooting up at the range, so I’d be ready. He tells me I’m beautiful and makes me feel good. I like the start of this and am looking forward to seeing where this goes.
I’ve decided to let Don back into my life…..
I remembered all the good things that he helped me do and encouraged me to do.
The main reason I let him back in was due to something my friend Tyrone was saying about the guys I like and telling me about how people are set in your life for certain reasons. He also said be with someone who wants to better you and wants you to better you.
I always had a connection with Don since the first day we started to talk on Facebook and through the phone.
Then we had an even bigger connection when we met for the first time in person.
When we hung out tonight- all these warm fuzzy feelings came back to me-I think I may have loved him at one point- and it feels like those feelings were coming back- maybe they never left.
I missed looking at his mysterious brown eyes and looking at his sexy lips as he talked to me. I really missed our conversations.
We haven’t seen each other in three months and when we met up- we got right into our conversation and chatted for a while.
I so wanted to kiss him.
And my heart felt full when in his presence
It’s a crazy kind of feeling I have for him and when I am around him
I’m wondering if I’m falling all over again or if I fell for him before but always pushed away the feelings of it cause I was scared and made up every excuse to avoid being with him- like I always do.
So we talked about going the relationship route in 2017- and I said it sounds great! I jokingly said I have to work on me this final week and learn to just trust and not worry so much.
I also thought when in relationships you jump all in- but he said to go slow and go into it gradually.
I really wanna do this and I wanna have him in my life.
I know I have him in my life now but on a friend level- but I think I’m ready to have him on the bf level. I guess time will tell and I’ll see what my next move is.
Oh I told him about my sex addiction tonight and how I’m working on me and being celibate for a while until the guy I’m with is worthy of my good good. He said he respects it and won’t pressure me. He said whenever I’m ready for sex, is when it will happen. He also learned that I love being spanked and choked in the bedroom and I’m surprised he wasn’t to taken back by any of it. He actually told me he thought I had an addiction so he sorta already knew.
I’m ready to find and hold on to love in 2017- it’s my time to be happy.