Posted in Army, Arousing, Friends with benefits, Friendship, Life lessons, Military, Orgasms, Realistic, Sex, Single, Squirting, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, update, Vagina, pussy, penetrating

Sex-less Nights

I see a lot of lonely sexless nights ahead of me

I need to get a new little black book

I lost touch with my main hoes

Since I was attempting to work on things with the ex

I just recently got a Facebook message from Don

And although I was debating going on that path with him again

My pussy is pulsating and I am so horny I might just meet up with him

To catch up and maybe catch up on some much needed dick

Bill yum also been reaching out to me the last few months and we been texting here and there

I sorta miss him and his big dick that had me gushing like a waterfall the last time we were together intimately

The last time I saw him was in June at my birthday celebration

I requested ginuwine pony and he gave me a lap dance in front of everyone in the bar

That dude has some moves

Swiveling his hips and slow grinding

I was soaked before we even made it to his car

We drove in his car to the armory where he was staying for the night

Then started making out on his cot

We drunk stumble into one of the offices and continue kissing as he starts explaining to me what they do in that office

To my surprise it turned me on

As I responded with yes staff sergeant tell me more…..

It turned him on and….

Then he pulled down my pants and panties and stuck his big fat black dick in my pussy

He was hitting it so hard

I was screaming in pleasure

Soaking wet

Hitting and hitting

Pounding away


It happened…….



A literal waterfall happened

I squirted all over the place!!!

This was the first time I squirted in a long time and it was amazing

I soaked everything

It was all over the floor

All over my clothes

And all over his dick

He wanted to keep pounding it as we were slipping and sliding all over the place

I never felt so horny that night- like an unleashed beast

After the waterfall happened we fucked one last time in the back of his car and then I went home…. soaked through my clothes.

That was a memorable time with him. And I miss the orgasms he gives me.

Billyum….. yummy—-

So he’s not the most faithful

Or fun guy

Or even a guy who spends money

But he could just be that go to big fat dick that can have me climbing the walls

Soaked to the bone literally

I think I’ll continue to keep him in my book for a while- since he can lay the pipe.

As far as my last few hoes that I had- Don might come back in my life- haven’t fully decided yet due to me having actual feelings for him and being too afraid to actually go further.

And lately he’s been annoying me on social media since he’s all about $$ and buying sneakers and nonsense.

Real men don’t care about that stuff- he should be caring about getting an apartment and making his life better- not about how much money he can show off on his Instagram page.

I’m really hesitant to starT anything back up with him just for the fact he annoys me with that shit. Guys and people in general who are showy like that are annoying as fuck. Plus I think he’s still selling drugs- cause he never talked about working-

Tank update: so I pushed him away when I decided I’d talk to my ex again.

And although I felt bad about it- maybe it was the smart thing to do. Cause although I enjoyed him taking me out to dinners- and spending some $ on me- I felt like it honestly wouldn’t go anywhere.

He wasn’t making any effort to actually visit me where I live and I was getting bored with the same repetitive stuff we did.

Go out to eat- go back to his hotel- dry hump, kiss- suck his dick- maybe talk or watch tv- then nothing at all.

Some other guy may be a potential exploration for me- his name is Chad and we hooked up once before years ago- sorta- it was a drunken dick suck moment- plus we went out for lunch a few times.

He’s a cool guy with goals, a job, a daughter and he seems really family friendly and chill.

I like talking to him and we sorta click- it’s easy to talk to him cause we have the military in common plus we went to school together years and years ago.

I also helped him through his deployment overseas- I sent him tons of nude pix. Figured if it helped him out- I’d do anything for the troops- he said they helped.

So Me and chad are just texting right now- and we will more then likely be friends and I’m cool with that. Guys are too complicated for me.

Posted in Advice needed, Army, Arousing, Dating, erotica, Friends with benefits, Friendship, Life lessons, Love, Military, Missing him, Orgasms, Rant, Realistic, Revelation, Sex, Single, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized

Bill yummy 

So Bill yum is still in the picture and he’s my random dating guy- fuck me good- long distance lover guy- he’s still living far away from me and he rarely comes to philly to see me other than when he’s up here for Army weekends.

 He messaged me today and sent me the most arousing sexy photo of himself in a towel that was half covering his body and covered up his male part. 

Oh my lawd it caught me off guard and I was smiling and grinning from ear to ear also blushing. I text him back and tell him how fucking sexy he looks. He says he doesn’t believe me and doesn’t think he’s sexy. Yea right how’s he not know? I wondered to myself. 

So anyway we are supposed to hang out sometime this month I think around St.Pattys day and im looking forward to it-

 I’d really like to spend the night At his house again but not sure when I’d be back up that way- if at all any time soon. 

I know it’s not gonna go anywhere with Bill yum but I guess I’m clinging on to the past- 

idk maybe hoping for a future but not sure what the future holds if there is one for us. 

These long distance things are the most difficult- I feel like even being like 30 mins away from someone is difficult cause you don’t know what they could be doing or who they are seeing. Take the situation with Don- he lives in a different neighborhood then me and I always felt like what is he doing or who is he seeing from the distance between us). 

Or maybe that’s where my trust issues come into play and I just am on guard that any guy I am with is out to lie and cheat on me, so trust is hard for me to have. 

When I think of an ideal boyfriend for me, he’d live in the same city and at least the same neighborhood just so maybe it would put my mind at ease a bit on the whole cheating thing-

 but when you think about it if a guys gonna cheat- he will no matter how close or far he lives from you. 
Just a rant of thoughts. 

Thanks for listening. 

Posted in Advice needed, Army, Bye Bitch, Dating, Friends with benefits, Friendship, Help, Help wanted, Jerk, Life lessons, Loss, Military, Pros vs. Cons, Rant, Realistic, Revelation, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users

Pros vs. Cons

Pros vs. Cons of continuing dating/seeing Bill Yum:


Big dick

Great sex

Makes me oragsm- a lot! 

Makes my body feel good. 

Makes good moon shine 


May be dating/fucking a lot more girls then he says


Doesn’t make time to see me

I’m always planning to go see him

Doesn’t make any effort

Dresses bad

Dry/boring personality 

Doesn’t talk about anything besides the military and his 3 jobs that I don’t care about

Every conversation is the same

Doesn’t actually take me out anywhere 

Just seems like I’m the occasional hookup 

Doesn’t text/call me first. 

I feel like I’m the only one trying to make it work. Whatever this is 
As I list these pros and cons I see the only pros are the fact that he pleases my body- my pussy and that’s all. Yea making my pussy feel amazing is great and all- but I want more substance. Not being able to converse with someone isn’t a good sign or any kind of friendship or relationship. I know what I must do now. Leave him in my past- where he should’ve stayed. I don’t trust him enough to believe that he’s only fucking me like he claims! So bill yum will just be a name in my past. I’m ready to get on to bigger and better guys who treat me with respect, who want to call me on the phone, who want to spend time with me and who makes the effort to come to my city to see me. 
What do you guys think of this list? How would you react? 

Posted in Army, Dating, Friendship, Military, Missing him, New relationship, Realistic, True life, real, me,

I Finally went out with Tank 

So I had mentioned this new guy in my life named Tank. I met him through the military and didn’t approach him about my feelings for him and wanting to get to know him until after I got out the military. We started talking on the phone and texting since last year around march. We are at the beginning stages of getting to know each other and I like it. 

So we were supposed to meet up a few months back/ the first time I was being too shy and was a no show and made up an excuse and the second time it snowed really bad and I couldn’t go out with him cause I don’t drive well in the snow. So we finally hung out Friday night and it was cool. We talked about the military and I asked about his job. We talked about our interests and he was talking about making future plans to see me and do things with me. After talking to my sister about him, she said it’s a good sign that he’s talking bout future plans with me, so he must really like me. I never thought about that before. But it makes sense. I wanna see him more, the only downfall to this Is the fact that he lived on another state. I live in PA and he lives in MD. My car has made it to Lancaster and I wasn’t even sure it would, now I wonder if it would make it to another state. 

So we had pizza and just talked. He didn’t pressure me to have sex and didn’t even make a move on me, so to me that is a great thing. I told him I wanna go slow, with the sex and all and want to get to know him first. We ended up just making out a lot, and cuddling in his hotel room- yea I know- I’m surprised nothing happened other than that. But it was nice.. it felt normal and great with my body next to his. I fit perfectly on his chest. I told him of my goals and how I want to join the military again after I get my social worker license and he supports me. He’s rooting for me to succeed and encourages me to do the things I want to. He also said he’d help me with exercising and even getting my shooting up at the range, so I’d be ready. He tells me I’m beautiful and makes me feel good. I like the start of this and am looking forward to seeing where this goes. 

Posted in Army, Dating, Friends with benefits, Military, Realistic, Revelation, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users

Probably not the right guy for me. 

So I saw bill yum this past Saturday and it felt awkward. He hung out with me, my sister her bf and a girlfriend of mine. We were supposed to go bowling but ended up staying in and playing drinking card games. It was awkward cause I realized that me and him don’t really have too much of a conversation. I hadn’t realized it before cause every time we hung out before I was buzzed or drunk. It’s like things were totally different this time- he kinda annoyed me actually. I don’t know if it’s because I finally went out with Tank and he legit seems like a nice guy compared to Bill yum and I really loved being in his company- or if it’s just due to the fact that me and bill yum don’t really have anything in common but our want or lust for each other. The thing we have is strictly sex ad I’m over that. I want a good guy. I want and deserve a relationship full of trust and respect for one another. So hanging with him around my friends and sister opened my eyes. We barely talked and his personality was dry. I didn’t realize how cheap and boring he is and it turned me off a lot. So we left my sisters house and ended up just driving and watching movies in his car since he was drilling with the was awkward the whole time- I was a bit buzzed from drinking but I wasn’t feeling it at all. And was wishing I was with Tank instead. Bill yums phone even rang awkwardly when we were together and he thought I didn’t see the name but I did as he quickly grabbed for it to put it away. It said ladybug- probably one of the girls he’s seeing besides me- but I’m getting out of his life for good so I can start something good with Tank, maybe something long term. Not wasting my time with a guy who doesn’t deserve me. Bill yum is just sex to me and honestly we have nothing else in common

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Army, Arousing, Celibacy, Control freak, Dating, Military, Rant, Realistic, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating, Vibrator

Update- Celibacy No More

so ive been celibate the last three months and was so proud of my streak. i done went and fucked it up by first giving Don head in the back of his car- but i figured its not sex so I was still considered celibate. 

then about a week and a half later i met up with Bill Yum after going ghost on him for months- like every other guy i left alone to figure me and my addiction out.
so apparently he moved to a new house and lives with two other roomates who are guys- which is cool. he says he works all the time and hasnt had time for females and was wondering what happened with me. told him i was fighting some demons and trying to get right with myself, so went ghost. 

he texted me the one day or maybe i texted him cause i was getting the itch i get where i needed some dick- so he invited me up his place- whih is two hours away- i agreed and said id come up to spend the night.
felt good to see his face, the past was behind us with the whole cheating thing i forgave him, he apologized. 

i told him how i felt and we made up. so here we are talking catching up and watching movies- when for the first time in a long while i didnt wanna just jump his bones.

 i actually enjoyed our conversation and our flirting. i missed my hands inside his. it felt great to be there with him. so we watched some movies, then all of a sudden he started to finger me on the couch. oh my lawd, it felt incredible! then he pulled off my shorts and stuck his massive black cock in my wet pussy. i screamed cause that was the first time in three months i had a dick in me. i moaned and moaned as he thrust into me. i was going wild as he flipped me over and i flipped back. we kissed and he kissed my body all over. i love the way he feels on top of me. echoes of my screams go throughout the house as i start to cream on his black couch that he shares with his roomates. he thrusts one last thrust and my whole body is throbbing- and i cum everywhere. we finished at the same time.
we continue to watch the movies and eat and just have a couple drinks. then one of his roomates come in from out partying and hes drunk. he falls asleep on the recliner next to us as we continue to watch the movie. by this time im getting sleepy and wanna just go lay in his bed. so i start rubbing on his cock right on the couch next to his roomate. trying to hint to him- im ready to go another round. then i tell him im going downstairs to lay in bed.
i head downstairs and put on my lingerie that i brought to look sexy for him. its a really cute see through pink set i wore in a recent boudoir photo shoot i did. i felt so sexy in it and couldnt wait for him to see me in it.
so i adjust myself and turn on some music. he peeks his head in and sees me wearing it- and says i look sexy, as he grabs my butt. definetly the reaction i wanted from him.
he tells me he will be back in. so i make myself comfortable on his bed. his bed was very soft. fighting sleep, so we could get one or two more rounds in before we actually have to sleep.
he comes in and we talk, then i start to go down on him. placing my wet warm mouth on his dick- and i hear him moan in pleasure.
then i hop on top and start riding him, thrusting back and forth and going wild since its been a while since i fucked a guy. he grips me up and pulls my hair, then spanks me. then i pull out my vibrator which he uses on me as hes fingering me- omg it felt so good. he was telling me to be quiet but i couldnt help myself. im sure his roomates heard everything… but honestly it turned me on more knowing they could hear. We decided we are gonna do another long distance thing- so gonna see where it goes. I will see his this weekend when he’s in town- 

Posted in Army, Dating, Love, Love making, Realistic, True life, real, me,

New guy- date next week

So I have been talking to this guy Tank that I’ve talked about in other posts. And we have really good conversation so far- he seems like a cool guy,  he’s well educated, has his own car, his own place, and has a really good job- all very good things about him. 

He was my former platoon sergeant at my last unit and o always had a thing for him but never said anything cause I didn’t wanna jeopardize his position. So I waited till I was out the military to send him a message on Facebook and tell him that I was into him and wanted to get to know him more. He also told me that he thought I was a nice woman and was very attractive. He asked me to dinner the last time and that’s when I got nervous and never showed the first time. 

So with the courage I got from talking to Tyrone I agreed to finally go out with him and we’re going out next Saturday for the first time. 

I haven’t seen this guy in close to ten months so I hope it’s not awkward or anything. We talk pretty good on the phone together so I don’t think it’ll be too terrible- guess I just have that new date jitters.  

I think maybe he can change things for me with guys. Like I know it’s a new thing we’re starting up but I hope it lasts a while. 

As far as things with Don- he’s back in my life as a friend right now- have no clue where else it’s going to go other than that-