Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Arousing, Kinky, Masturbate, Orgasms, Pussy, Rant, Realistic, Sex, Sex toy, Sex toy review, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating, Vibrator

Inflatable hot seat review 

Oh my word! This is prob the best way to get off for someone like me who has a slight sex addiction that she is controlling without the help from doctors as counselors. 

The hot seat is inflatable- so you just blow it up- make sure you have two double A batteries and then go to town on it. I haven’t been with a man for quite a few months now- but with this toy— I don’t think I’ll need to waste my time with losers just to get fucked. 

I can get myself off as I ride the black dick- and not have to worry whether it’s clean or has diseases. I don’t even have to make small talk or listen to it rant about their jobs and the military which I don’t care about. 

I’ve been patiently waiting for this for the past week and for it this morning! Hooked it up grabbed some lube and went to town on it. It’s a bit loud though so if your trying to be discreet—- blast some music. It vibrates as it’s inside your pussy and it makes for an extra orgasm. I fingered my pussy as it vibrated inside me and it was incredible. I came within a few minutes. I honestly feel my pussy still vibrating, and pulsating as if in still riding the attached dildo. 

I need a cigarette now and feel like I can just relax and maybe take a nice nap. I’m so glad I made this purchase and know that my weekends when I’m alone and longing for some orgasms—- I’ll use this instead of a guy who I can’t stand. 

They have these hot seats on the website Groupon and it was discounted- I paid $31 for an instant orgasm. Ladies or even guys check this out. 


Posted in 3Way, Addiction, sexaddict, Arousing, BDSM, Clit kisser, Dating, erotica, Kinky, Lesbian, Masturbate, Oral sex, Orgasms, Porn, Porn star, Pussy, Realistic, Sex, Sex toy, Single, Submissive, Threesome, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users, Vagina, pussy, penetrating

Weekend meetup

So it’s getting close to that time again-

Bill yum will be in town next weekend and I’m so excited about it

I haven’t had sex in a while and have been so horny

I text him last night to see if he’s getting a hotel when he comes and he said most likely

Not sure if he will or not but either way I’m gonna fuCk him

Whether it’s in the back of his car or just fucking on the side of a dark back road 

I need to fill my want and need 

Tank isn’t doing that for me since we are waiting to have sex

Which is cool but a girl needs a little more than just dry humping and sucking a dick

So I plan on Saturday to be wild as always when I’m with Bill yum

His huge black dick will penetrate my tight pussy and feed this need I’ve had for quite some time 

It might seem as though I am just using him for sex— but am I wrong? 

Men do it all the time- why can’t women. 

Fuck it I’m gonna do what I want anyway no matter what people say or think even if they think it’s wrong.

Tank update:

So I’m still talking/texting Tank since the last time we went out on a date and he supposedly would start coming up to see me more- now to see if he’s truthful about that And actually comes. 

I just feel like sometimes guys are all talk- 

I won’t believe him until I actually see it happen

I’m feeling a bit strange about Tank and thinking maybe he’s not that experienced sexually since he doesn’t wanna have sex with me yet. His kissing was awkward and it was as if he pushing his whole mouth on my mouth and the tongue doesn’t move in sync with mine- I cannot explain it but he’s a terrible kisser and I feel like I’m suffocating when he kisses me- doesn’t give me those feels like other guys do when we kiss so I’m wondering if I’m honestly attracted to him or not and wondering if I’m wasting my time. I had to tell him on Saturday to kiss a certain way not sure if I crushed his male ego but I don’t give a fuck I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Tank is the kind of guy who seems like he hasn’t been with a woman in a long time which I guess is a good thing but there’s no thrill there there’s no freakiness and experimentation like I want. 

When talking about sexual fantasies- I mention a threesone with a guy and girl and his eyes bulged out of his head- shocked. 

I mention how I might be into whips and choking and he looked so scared. Not sure if we have the same sexual chemistry and not sure how long this will last because of it- although I am trying hard to get to know him and with time maybe he would reveal a freaky side to him. He did however say he likes to be dominated by a woman and it turns him on. But I like to switch it up I wanna be dominated but also dominate so wondering if he could do that for me. He also seems to really have a foot fetish and shower fetish. Every time I see him he mentions he wants to wash my body down and massage my feet- I’m like umm okay sure you can- but I haven’t allowed him to do it yet cause I told him I can’t just shower with him without wanting to fuck him right after- I said it’s too much of a tease to do that. So basically all we do right now is cuddle, dry hump, I suck his dick and I finger myself till I fall asleep. Guess I’ll see how much longer this goes on. 

Tank also said he’ll eat pussy when we get more intimate 

Like how much more intimate do we need to get? 

I suck your dick but you can’t return the favor? 

This kinda irritates me- so not sure where this thing with Tank will go. The guys I choose are selfish as fuck when it comes to eating pussy.

I’m about to get me a female just so my pussy gets licked and some more attention 

Update on Don:

So I text him a dirty meme the other day cause it reminded me of him and the way he lays down the pipe 

He responds and says he wants to meet up

I’m tempted and might just meet with him this Sunday so I can get some action before next weekend 

It feels like forever that I had sex

Since all my dudes are long distance 

So not sure what will happen Sunday but I’ll deff keep my followers posted

Tyrone Update:

Tyrone and I are supposed to hang out sometime this week- but not 100% sure about that since he’s been so busy. 

Solo:

Pleasuring myself is the only way these days.

I’ve been fingering myself a lot these days and watching a lot of pornhub the blacked edition- which I love and it seems to be satisfying me. 

Just don’t know how much longer it will satisfy me until I erupt and want to just fuck everything and anything. 

Stay tuned for more sex stories that I am sure are on their way since I’ve been horny as fuck 

The pussy controls me and I think I’ll let it 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Army, Arousing, Celibacy, Control freak, Dating, Military, Rant, Realistic, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating, Vibrator

Update- Celibacy No More

so ive been celibate the last three months and was so proud of my streak. i done went and fucked it up by first giving Don head in the back of his car- but i figured its not sex so I was still considered celibate. 

then about a week and a half later i met up with Bill Yum after going ghost on him for months- like every other guy i left alone to figure me and my addiction out.
so apparently he moved to a new house and lives with two other roomates who are guys- which is cool. he says he works all the time and hasnt had time for females and was wondering what happened with me. told him i was fighting some demons and trying to get right with myself, so went ghost. 

he texted me the one day or maybe i texted him cause i was getting the itch i get where i needed some dick- so he invited me up his place- whih is two hours away- i agreed and said id come up to spend the night.
felt good to see his face, the past was behind us with the whole cheating thing i forgave him, he apologized. 

i told him how i felt and we made up. so here we are talking catching up and watching movies- when for the first time in a long while i didnt wanna just jump his bones.

 i actually enjoyed our conversation and our flirting. i missed my hands inside his. it felt great to be there with him. so we watched some movies, then all of a sudden he started to finger me on the couch. oh my lawd, it felt incredible! then he pulled off my shorts and stuck his massive black cock in my wet pussy. i screamed cause that was the first time in three months i had a dick in me. i moaned and moaned as he thrust into me. i was going wild as he flipped me over and i flipped back. we kissed and he kissed my body all over. i love the way he feels on top of me. echoes of my screams go throughout the house as i start to cream on his black couch that he shares with his roomates. he thrusts one last thrust and my whole body is throbbing- and i cum everywhere. we finished at the same time.
we continue to watch the movies and eat and just have a couple drinks. then one of his roomates come in from out partying and hes drunk. he falls asleep on the recliner next to us as we continue to watch the movie. by this time im getting sleepy and wanna just go lay in his bed. so i start rubbing on his cock right on the couch next to his roomate. trying to hint to him- im ready to go another round. then i tell him im going downstairs to lay in bed.
i head downstairs and put on my lingerie that i brought to look sexy for him. its a really cute see through pink set i wore in a recent boudoir photo shoot i did. i felt so sexy in it and couldnt wait for him to see me in it.
so i adjust myself and turn on some music. he peeks his head in and sees me wearing it- and says i look sexy, as he grabs my butt. definetly the reaction i wanted from him.
he tells me he will be back in. so i make myself comfortable on his bed. his bed was very soft. fighting sleep, so we could get one or two more rounds in before we actually have to sleep.
he comes in and we talk, then i start to go down on him. placing my wet warm mouth on his dick- and i hear him moan in pleasure.
then i hop on top and start riding him, thrusting back and forth and going wild since its been a while since i fucked a guy. he grips me up and pulls my hair, then spanks me. then i pull out my vibrator which he uses on me as hes fingering me- omg it felt so good. he was telling me to be quiet but i couldnt help myself. im sure his roomates heard everything… but honestly it turned me on more knowing they could hear. We decided we are gonna do another long distance thing- so gonna see where it goes. I will see his this weekend when he’s in town- 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Arousing, Celibacy, Control freak, Dating, Friendship, Life lessons, Love, Missing him, Realistic, Sex, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating

He’s back in my life 

So…. ….

I’ve decided to let Don back into my life…..

I remembered all the good things that he helped me do and encouraged me to do. 

The main reason I let him back in was due to something my friend Tyrone was saying about the guys I like and telling me about how people are set in your life for certain reasons. He also said be with someone who wants to better you and wants you to better you. 

I always had a connection with Don since the first day we started to talk on Facebook and through the phone. 

Then we had an even bigger connection when we met for the first time in person. 

When we hung out tonight- all these warm fuzzy feelings came back to me-I think I may have loved him at one point- and it feels like those feelings were coming back- maybe they never left. 

I missed looking at his mysterious brown eyes and looking at his sexy lips as he talked to me. I really missed our conversations. 

We haven’t seen each other in three months and when we met up- we got right into our conversation and chatted for a while. 

I so wanted to kiss him.

And my heart felt full when in his presence 

It’s a crazy kind of feeling I have for him and when I am around him

I’m wondering if I’m falling all over again or if I fell for him before but always pushed away the feelings of it cause I was scared and made up every excuse to avoid being with him- like I always do. 

So we talked about going the relationship route in 2017- and I said it sounds great! I jokingly said I have to work on me this final week and learn to just trust and not worry so much. 

I also thought when in relationships you jump all in- but he said to go slow and go into it gradually.

 I really wanna do this and I wanna have him in my life. 

I know I have him in my life now but on a friend level- but I think I’m ready to have him on the bf level. I guess time will tell and I’ll see what my next move is.

Oh I told him about my sex addiction tonight and how I’m working on me and being celibate for a while until the guy I’m with is worthy of my good good. He said he respects it and won’t pressure me. He said whenever I’m ready for sex, is when it will happen. He also learned that I love being spanked and choked in the bedroom and I’m surprised he wasn’t to taken back by any of it. He actually told me he thought I had an addiction so he sorta already knew. 

I’m ready to find and hold on to love in 2017- it’s my time to be happy. 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Advice needed, Asshole, Bye Bitch, Counseling, Divorce, Help wanted, Life lessons, Marriage, Military, Rant, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized

Final divorce notice 

Yay I received the email from my lawyer I have been waiting on for the last 4 years now. My ex signed the documents finally and on December 29th he will receive the final notice to divorce documents. 

Yay i am so happy 

I can finally be free from his control 

And start living my life

So here’s the tricky part in this situation though… so I’ve been hiding behind the fact that I’m not divorced to start a real relationship with a guy I like and now the divorce is almost here and in actually scared to death that now I’m expected to just be okay and normal to jump all in. 

Honestly I think I have some commitment issues that I need to sort out in therapy and need more time on this even though the divorce is now literally around the corner. 

I don’t know what I should do

If I should just say fuck it and try a relationship I don’t think I’m ready for or wait till I get more help on this matter.

Wondering if my mind actually overcomplicates things and blows them way out of proportion. Maybe I should take it one day at a time as I always do with my Life and see where it goes. 

I’m just so happy that the final divorce decree will be in my hand soon. 

Posted in 3Way, Addiction, sexaddict, Counseling, Dating, Life lessons, Orgasms, Porn, Rant, Realistic, Sex, Threesome, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating

Time

So I’ve been doing great

These last almost 3 months I have gone without sex

That’s sorta a new record for me and I’m proud of it

It’s hard not to just text or call up him or him to break me off 

And I could’ve really taken Enrique up on his offer to do the FWB thing

So I’m feeling very proud of myself right now

I guess with some self control and understanding I am worth more than just a busted nut I can make things happen for myself and grow as a person who is recovering from what I think is an addiction 

I feel like I can do anything at this point and really have confidence in what I can do professionally without having to think that my addiction will somehow get in the way of it as ruin it… like it once had at one point.

With time and a lot of restraint 

And therapy it is helping 

Although I miss the company of certain guys… especially Monster since we had a little history I know starting things up with him only adds to my addiction and makes me do things and get on a road where it will lead to me being reckless and back to my old habits 

I didn’t like the route I was going down and had actually thought about selling sex for money- and once I got to that point I knew I had to end this. 

I took money from a guy I fucked a few years ago and he expected Sex or a blow job or whatever even though I was just borrowing the money and I felt dirty after and I didn’t even do anything sexual with him. So I know I guess I’m good where I am right now- I have a conscience and it does speak to me. 

So basically the reason of my rant is to tell you guys I’m working hard at this and am doing well. Each day is more difficult then the next not to just flip the switch and say fuck it I wanna do that threesome or have monster fuck my brains out… but I will take it a day at a time and make it happen. 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Advice needed, Army, Asshole, Bye Bitch, Control freak, Dating, Dickhead, Help, Help wanted, Jerk, Judgement, Life lessons, Military, Narcissistic, Rant, Realistic, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized

Confusion

So why is it that I don’t know what I want? 

It’s a constant battle with me

One minute I want to be in a relationship 

And the next I can’t stand guys and just want to use them for sex

Wondering if other women go through this constant battle like I do

It seems like I’m pushing away any guy who is trying to get close to me

Well here’s a new scenario 

So hot army veteran asks me out yet again at my job

I still was holding on to the fact that he rubbed me the wrong way the first time and rejected me…. 

so I did just that to him when he approached me:

He Walks up to me and asks me what my plans are for the weekend 

I reply with sweat pants and Netflix. 

Which to me is a great night! I love feeling comfortable in bed and I love to watch movies… this was my laSt weekend before classes start up again- so I wanted to enjoy it! 

He says do you wanna go see a movie with me

My reply what movie? Like any normal person would ask cause I won’t see just any movie

Then he gets all rude and upset due to my question and walks off 

After my response of I’ll let you know 

He sends me a long ass text ranting about how he’s not desperate and doesn’t need to go out with me. Then he rants about why I’m asking what movie?!! Dude really? I texted back it ain’t that serious and honestly I don’t think it’ll work us going out by the way his personality is so different then mine. 

This dude got mad at me over asking what movie he wanted to see. Go fuck yourself is what I wanted to say but I was nice about it- like I usually am to asshole guys. I exited that situation before it became a problem. He seems to have anger/control issues he needs to sort out on his own. And if he is in fact single like he says….. I now understand why- he’s a total douche bag! 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼

And it’s not even like he’s that good looking. Bye Bitch! 

Then there’s this second scenario with Don- yea Don still texts me and has been reaching out to me through social media once I went ghost on him for about a few weeks- ghost meaning I stopped texting him and contacting him all together. 

So Don texts me and asked about the weekend- I guess I had made plans to meet up with him but had totally forgotten about it. Saturday comes and he’s nonstop texting me. When are we linking up- I miss you- I wanna see you- 

The last conversation we had was me telling him that if we remain friends- no sex is involved because I’m working on me- and he said okay. But I know once I see him I’ll give in somehow and I’ll end up sucking his dick/ which to me is getting on my nerves… I would like it better if I got something in return but he seems very selfish and greedy about that. And hasn’t kicked my pussy not once the whole two years I’ve known him so it won’t happen! Anyway off topic.. so he is constantly texting me and I say I’m at a party- which I was but it didn’t last as long as I was portraying it to be. We were just texting so how would he know if I was still at the party or not. Guess texting has its pluses! So he sends another text around 7pm and asks how’s the party. I look at the text and lay back in bed in my sweats with my Gilmore Girls marathon on. If I don’t want to go out with a guy and I’d rather sit in and watch a hundred episodes of Gilmore Girls- I obviously don’t want to be with the guy. I told Don multiple times it’s not gonna work between us- but he keeps pushing it so is that my fault?? Why do guys get so hung up on females? I know he said I give the best oral sex but that can’t be the reason, or can it? I don’t know I’m just getting to the point where these dudes are irritating me. I’m contemplating switching teams for a bit and maybe having my first  girl on girl experience. I don’t know, I don’t think women would be any different then men- my lesbian friend told me it’s not different at all other than the fact of the body parts are different. You still have females who are controlling and narcissistic, and who are players and not faithful to the one they are with. 

So as I go along this journey I wonder if I will continue down this path of leaving these fuck boi guys alone and maybe dive into some pussy- ( no wait I would never do that! I love dick too much- I’ll have a pussy dive down on me! ) or just stay on this dry road of nothingness and just prepare for these sex toys to come so I can cum all alone by myself watching some pornhub. I can live my fantasies through the pornhub videos and go to other places with my vibrators. I won’t have to deal with an annoying guy giving me shit or feeling like they used me or having to suck their dick without anything in return. 

I like the sound of that. I will be doing that until I see my boo boo Monster in a week! I plan to have my pussy destroyed by him- which I know it will be because of his size and because of how long it’s been since I’ve had any penetration. 

Getting aroused thinking about it. 

What do you, my readers think about my scenarios I just shared? 

Maybe I’m just fed up with guys treating me like shit so I push them away! Maybe I’m finally growing in that area and seeing the red flags beforehand. Please leave some comments to this.