So apparently me and the soon to be ex husband are becoming friends and yea that’s pretty awesome since we haven’t really talked since before I left him when my daughter was a month old. 

And all these feelings came rushing back as we talked and hung out. I’m wondering if I ever stopped loving him and just pushed the feelings I had for him to the side since I feel like he hurt me so much. It’s weird I can’t explain how he made me feel. I felt happy to be around him. 

We actually spent the whole weekend together and it was nice- for once my daughter had her family together as a whole. We just chilled ate pizza and watched movies but it felt like I belonged there with him in his home with our daughter. Loved the feeling I got from it but I still have to be on guard because of the way he was the last year or so- especially during the time I was pregnant- we got to talking and I said If we ever were to be together again he would never lay a hand on me again. I’m not having it- I will not go through it again. We will now just get back to getting to know each other and see where it goes. 

I started deleting the guys from my phone just for precaution and I will be off the market until I figure out what I’m doing- so I don’t fuck yo my second chance with him if that’s what we do- now I have an excuse to leave dumbass loser guys alone for a while. 

So that’s my update- next would be marriage counseling for the both of us if my divorce doesn’t ever go through- supposed to get an update Friday on my divorce- and I know I’ll be even more confused and maybe even sad if it actually goes through- guess time will tell with what happens to us- but for now we will remain friends or at least partners in co parenting and figure out everything else at a later time.