So I just ordered a ton of sex toys for myself so I can get myself nice and wet since I haven’t had a guy to help me out in that department. 

If I finally decide to have sex 

I’m going to be so tight down there since I haven’t been fucking anyone

So the next time I am with a man it might actually feel different

Maybe I should every so often take a break from guys and sex so I can experience what it feels like to not have a dick in between my legs and keep my pussy tighter.

I’m hoping these vibrators do their job and satisfy me

I know it isn’t a guy and a real life dick but I need to curb my appetite and I feel like this is one way I could do it.

Monster is coming to town in two weeks and I think I’m going to plan to meet up with him.

I miss him in my life. 

I know he’s probably wrong for me on so many levels

But I’m usually attracted to the guys who are in fact wrong for me. 

Update on brothers friend Bob… so apparently he did go to rehab.. so his facebook post states and his friends are concerned… but he’s back to his old ways… in the bar drinking away his sorrows or whatever he drinks away for. Guess he didn’t care about me like I did for him. Guess I was just someone for him to do at the time- cause he did not text, call or message me through social media to let me know he’s back home and done with rehab. Oh well guys will be guys. And he is a douchebag because I would’ve made an awesome girlfriend to him. Hey we win some, we lose some. On to the next is what I always say! 
So I’ve been in contact with monster for the past month and he’s gonna be getting a hotel room when he comes to visit. 

He’s close with one of my older brothers and is going to my brothers for a party- so I might just go to my brothers that day looking irresistible. I plan to do some dirty things with him in my brothers bathroom, in monsters car, and hopefully all night in the hotel room. 

Glad I’m saving my pussy for someone I actually care and have feelings for- not just for a random hookup. 

Making some progress and now I know how to control myself, and I know I didn’t die going these last two-three months without actual penetration- so I will be alright. 

I am growing and improving with each day. Each day I am getting stronger and stronger in this fight.

Addiction will not overcome me.

I will not fall

I am stronger then I think