So I haven’t talked to much about the fact that I am sorta married still- but my divorce to my abusive ex has been pending for quite longer than I have expected.
It’s actually going on close to 5 years now and I’m still not divorced!
Yea every moment I thought I was closer to being free, but nope, not even close.
The relationship/marriage I had with a narcissist control freak was hell for me.
If you go read Rehatch that’ll give you an idea of the type of shit I dealt with being married to that guy so I won’t go into it too much.
But I met him through the Marines where it felt like he was my knight in shining armor. He came to me at a Time where I was battling a few demons and he seemed to push the demons to the side and brighten my day with his smile.
His smile soon faded and turned to anger which turned my smiles and laughter into tears.
We dated for about 2 years before I married his dumbass.
He was a psycho ready to snap.
He threatened to kill himself on multiple occasions if I decided to leave him or dump him and he was mentally, emotionally and then became physically abusive towards me. I couldn’t wait to free myself from him and the toxic relationship we had together.
There were times I wanted to kill myself because I wanted it to stop, I wanted him to stop. He beat me down to the point where I lost myself.
I lost my self confidence, my self esteem and self worth. I started dressing Raggy and bummy and didn’t feel like myself.
He controlled who I could see and where I could go. I was a slave within my own home.
I luckily wised up and grew up once I had my daughter and left that terrible man and home behind.
But to this day I feel like he is still tied down to me and I cant be totally free without the divorce decree telling him that I am finally free- that I won this battle!
He finally has no control over the fact that he can no longer call me his wife!
Which he still does, what a nut job, in the back of his mind he still thinks I’m coming back and we’re gonna be together. He tells my daughter that all the time.
So I am patiently waiting for this divorce decree to come in the mail any day now so I can walk a little taller around him. I can boast about the fact that I am a survivor. I survived his abuse and I was able to rise above.
That divorce decree means everything to me- it means my freedom. And it will give me my power back!
Just my thoughts.