So I realized something I guess a little self discovery over time I had come to realize

So when I have sex, or fuck guys I have this fake orgasm voice I mean I don’t know if it’s real or fake but I don’t every remember being as loud and crazy sounding when I was younger 

So I think back to my first love where I actually made love to the man I was with and remember I was loud with him but not crazy loud how I am now. 

With say Monster or Tyrone- so wondering if over the years I kinda picked up on the porn style moans and just went with it because a lot of guys think it’s hot and get turned on by it more during sex, or for the fact that it’s actually me and how I am during sex but it depends on how loud I get depending on the size of the cock or how good I’m getting banged out by a guy? 

I wish I could actually know this answer- but I think it’s different with every guy I’ve been with and for the fact that I actually loved- yea I can’t believe it either- but I loved my first love- maybe with him it was more about the emotional aspects- and actual love making- so the orgasms and moans weren’t as intense and crazy. 

It’s prob random and weird to think about but as I have gone through my fair share of dicks over a span of about 8 or so years I always had it in the back of my mind like what is my true moan- 

did I lose it over time because I no longer love these guys that I’m with?

 Or because I am trying to hard to please them by being a sex kitten or Sex slave and I feel like guys love the sound of a woman screaming, oh god, oh god at the top of her lungs as she’s taking it from the back? 

I know it changes too sometimes depending on who I was with and to feed a guys ego 

I had played a fake orgasm and a few fake moans here and there during my Sexcapades. 

But the question I have for you readers is: 

Do you think it’s possible to lose the real you? If your doing something for a long time a certain way to please others? 

Is it possible that I lost my real sounds of sex, or my real voice when it comes to Sex, or have I just been having off the wall tie snapping Sex that just has me to the point where screaming is the only way to express myself? I’m sure you won’t have the answer but I’d like some feedback on what you think. Just curious.