I’m at the point in my life right now where I think I’m done searching for the right guy now and I honestly don’t think I’ll just be hooking up with dudes like I’ve been doing. 

Although I am addicted to sex I feel at times that it’s pointless….

So I hung with Don this past weekend and it was okay we just chilled and talked and listened to music but it seems fake. 

I can’t be real with him. 

He talks the whole time about his money and all these things that he has while I’m like oh okay that’s great…. 

and I’m just over it like I don’t care about your money. 

So Don is supposed to be my boyfriend or whatever he thinks he is to me- but that’s not how I see it. 

He’s just some guy I’ve been friends with for a couple years- nothing more than that. A guy that’s cool to talk to and have occasional sex with.

I know he’s talking to other chicks although he plays it off like he doesn’t. 

When we were hanging out he was on his phone and I saw the other girls name on his phone. I actually recognized the name from his Facebook- when we were friends on there- we aren’t anymore cause I get pissed he has too many girls on his page and they nonstop flirt with him. 

Why should I be jealous? When I am also seeing other guys? I don’t know guess I just hate the thought of guys acting like they’re true to you and they know they are liars and cheats. Like dudes need to tell you straight up what their intentions are and don’t bull shit or sugar coat it. Hate that. 

If we’re bf/gf I want a guy and only him. I wouldn’t be cheating and unfaithful if I knew the feelings were mutual. The fact that we barely see each other is also a sign that we’re not together, and he says it’s cause I’m always busy with school and establishing myself…. and maybe that’s true but maybe I shouldn’t even be in any type of serious:semi serious thing with a guy until I am ready. 

Doesn’t make sense to supposedly have these labels on you when you are nothing close to that. He’s like a friends with benefits and it’s not even like I get too many benefits- the sex is okay but not as good as with Tyrone or Monster and I don’t even get taken out places. 

Feeling like I’m just this chick that he wants to see when he’s bored or whatever, and I’m over it.