So I wonder what’s in store for me for my future of dating and possible relationships. 

Wondering if I’m weeding out the assholes now as I just have these flings and random hook ups with, 

or if I’m actually making the situation worse by dating and hooking up with these random no bodies who don’t make it past a few weeks. 

I sit here and think about my needs and wants and honestly I don’t know if I need or want an actual relationship right now. 

As much as I like the idea of it and having someone who is loyal to only me- 

I don’t want to deal with the feelings of having to answer to someone and tell them where I’ve been or who I’ve been with. 

I’m wondering why I have these feelings, and wondering why I can’t just want a relationship like everyone else has. 

Maybe I don’t know what I want in a guy

Or maybe I don’t have hope that I will find love after being hurt so many times in the past 

Or maybe I just actually enjoy being single and free to do whatever I please

But whatever it is I know that maybe one day I could have that

Have a trusting, loving relationship 

Right now I am focusing on my life and making my situation better 

And then maybe once I have a more stable life and career I’ll find time to focus on finding love