Posted in Dating, Realistic, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized


So just wondering what is wrong with me?

Why every time I get close to a guy- I freeze up and get scared and run away?

I was talking to a friend tonight well a guy I used to date but we’re still great friends with occasional benefits and he mentioned I’m too flip floppy- one minute I’m talking about having a revelation I’m getting too old and I wanna settle down with someone- then the next minute I am loving the single life and living it up with him or him and I forget about the guy that I’m into. Windeing if I’m so guarded that it’s a defense mechanism to shield e before the hurt happens, the cheating happens, or the control and abuse happens. I wish I didn’t live my life like this and can be normal and have a committed relationship with a guy but not sure I know how to love. Damn as I say it out loud it’s sounds really fucked up- am I the only female in the world who feels like this- should I just be single and love it up with whomever I want or maybe I just haven’t found my match yet who I could like or love enough to not want to run away from.

This dating world is confusing as hell- wondering if I’ll ever get to the point where I’d let myself be vulnerable to a guy- maybe someone would stick by it all and see my faults and still love me.



I write about sex, sex and more sex and sometimes my failed attempts at relationships. These are true life stories of what sexcapades I have had in my life. I also write about my search for love an a relationship.

2 thoughts on “Wondering

  1. Isn’t that what we all want, in the end? Someone who will stick around and love us for who we are? Until then, just enjoy your life.


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