Posted in Sex

Made love 

For the first time in a long time I made love to a man- and I cried… because I was full of emotions.

Well it just so happens to be my husband who I’ve been separated from the last 5 years! Yea crazy huh? 5 years separation- guess we needed our time apart to grow and learn more about ourselves and how to be better towards one another- idk honestly. 

But the last few months we got to finally talking and we’re actually friendly with each other. I act like I don’t care when he talks about girls who didn’t work out- when really yea I do and still missed him through all the bs he was putting me through these last years. Although we put each other through hell these last years- when we were together it felt real- it felt like we didn’t skip a beat- like we didn’t just miss the last years together in different worlds. We hugged, kissed caressed each other’s bodies, I moaned a lot!! He did also and he thrusted me so softly and with love. This was the first time in a long time I didn’t feel like I was just having sex to have sex- I was making real love to my husband- a husband I didn’t give a chance to be a real husband. No faking anything these nights- no faking emotions or faking enjoyment 

We were only married a year before we split so it wasn’t much time at all and from what I remember I was never home and always with friends and family instead of him- at home with my husband like I should’ve been. I don’t blame just him in our failed marriage- I blame me as well and now I see why he did certain things that he did when our daughter was younger. I understand and know that I would’ve acted the same way- so here we are we made love- I cried and got emotional and he told me he loved me. I love him too but didn’t say it the first night we were together- I ended up saying it the third day- after we spent the whole weekend doing family things with our daughter. We laid side by side on the bed watching movies and it just felt like it was meant to be. It felt like that’s where I belong. So now we are on this cross road because yea our divorce will be finalized soon- apparently if the lawyer actually worked on it finally and now I feel saddened for the fact that I will no longer be his wife- where do we go from here or there if it goes through-? Do we stop trying to get to know each other again and let it go? Or ride it out and see where it goes- and see if maybe down the road actually get married differently. At this point I’m just full of so many emotions and I’m not sure. All I know is I miss him- I had a glimpse of our life together as a family and I loved it. I loved laying with him in bed and waking up to him in the morning, and talking to him all night till the sun comes up. I miss the things we did- and reminiscing about our past and our happiness made me happy. Honestly right now I miss him in general- so we are telling our daughter we are becoming friends and I’m trying so hard to hold back me wanting to kiss him as I long to when I see him- or to just hold his hand. It’s weird maybe I should seek counsel for this- but I feel like I never stopped loving him but only suppressed my feelings and spun out of control with other men instead- out of confusion or hurt or maybe just guilt that I didn’t try hard enough to make it work- maybe I should’ve stayed and we could’ve worked through by counseling instead of me running to my family. I really don’t know. But now I feel like I wanna be back in his life and now it’ll be hard to explain it to my family- who hate him and who think I also hate him. I wanna just do what I think is best for me but don’t wanna lose family over it- although he is my family- well he’s still my husband until the divorce is final. I’m jut so confused and feel like I’m in an emotional roller coaster right now. 

Guess it’ll take time to see how everything plays out. But I’ll deff be pursuing it- I gotta find my happiness and I know that with my daughter and her dad together with me makes me happy- so that’s what my pursuit of happiness will be. 

Posted in Sex

Confused 

So apparently me and the soon to be ex husband are becoming friends and yea that’s pretty awesome since we haven’t really talked since before I left him when my daughter was a month old. 

And all these feelings came rushing back as we talked and hung out. I’m wondering if I ever stopped loving him and just pushed the feelings I had for him to the side since I feel like he hurt me so much. It’s weird I can’t explain how he made me feel. I felt happy to be around him. 

We actually spent the whole weekend together and it was nice- for once my daughter had her family together as a whole. We just chilled ate pizza and watched movies but it felt like I belonged there with him in his home with our daughter. Loved the feeling I got from it but I still have to be on guard because of the way he was the last year or so- especially during the time I was pregnant- we got to talking and I said If we ever were to be together again he would never lay a hand on me again. I’m not having it- I will not go through it again. We will now just get back to getting to know each other and see where it goes. 

I started deleting the guys from my phone just for precaution and I will be off the market until I figure out what I’m doing- so I don’t fuck yo my second chance with him if that’s what we do- now I have an excuse to leave dumbass loser guys alone for a while. 

So that’s my update- next would be marriage counseling for the both of us if my divorce doesn’t ever go through- supposed to get an update Friday on my divorce- and I know I’ll be even more confused and maybe even sad if it actually goes through- guess time will tell with what happens to us- but for now we will remain friends or at least partners in co parenting and figure out everything else at a later time. 

Posted in Sex

Update 

I stopped all contact with all the guys in my past and decided to start dating other types of guys. Sick of the same repetitive bull shit that doesn’t lead to anywhere. 

So saying bye bye to bill yum for good- he should’ve stayed on the last where I left him. Bye bye to Don he’s been out the picture for months now and bye to tank. It’s not going anywhere with him- I’m wasting my time on guys that don’t mean anything to me. 

So turning over a new leaf

Leaving guy in the past in the past and gonna stay alert and observe any potential guys who come my way

Posted in Sex

Dating site- giving it another go. 

Hey guys…. I haven’t had much time to blog lately since I’ve been busy with school and all but wanted to give an update.

So currently I am at single status like I’ve been for quite a while now. And I’m really at the point where I am fine with it.. 

I guess the lack of sex isn’t totally killing me since I’ve been buying a lot of new toys. (See last post- sex got review) 

But there’s times where I’m like- wow what I’d give to have a mans touch caress my body or to just feel the warmth of him next to me.

Well anyway… the point of my update was to let you guys know their may be a few prospects in the near future. I’ve joined a new dating site and it seems to be going well.

 I met this one hottie, we will name him Carl through the site and he is a looker. He works in a field helping people and wears a uniform! Score that’s fucking hot. So he lives in another state- but I’m cool with that- maybe we can meet up and hang out- have a good time with one another and see what happens- if anything. 

Not sure I can really travel too far to spend time with any guys and I don’t know if I honestly would meet someone who would be my one- but I guess I’ll continue the search. 

Not gonna put pressure on myself- if it happens it does if it doesn’t and I just build a friendship or even a friends with benefits with some hot and steamy sex I’m fine with that. 

Life is to short to be worried about love and whether I will actually get it- I’ll just enjoy the dick in between. 

Posted in Addiction, sexaddict, Arousing, Kinky, Masturbate, Orgasms, Pussy, Rant, Realistic, Sex, Sex toy, Sex toy review, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Vagina, pussy, penetrating, Vibrator

Inflatable hot seat review 

Oh my word! This is prob the best way to get off for someone like me who has a slight sex addiction that she is controlling without the help from doctors as counselors. 

The hot seat is inflatable- so you just blow it up- make sure you have two double A batteries and then go to town on it. I haven’t been with a man for quite a few months now- but with this toy— I don’t think I’ll need to waste my time with losers just to get fucked. 

I can get myself off as I ride the black dick- and not have to worry whether it’s clean or has diseases. I don’t even have to make small talk or listen to it rant about their jobs and the military which I don’t care about. 

I’ve been patiently waiting for this for the past week and for it this morning! Hooked it up grabbed some lube and went to town on it. It’s a bit loud though so if your trying to be discreet—- blast some music. It vibrates as it’s inside your pussy and it makes for an extra orgasm. I fingered my pussy as it vibrated inside me and it was incredible. I came within a few minutes. I honestly feel my pussy still vibrating, and pulsating as if in still riding the attached dildo. 

I need a cigarette now and feel like I can just relax and maybe take a nice nap. I’m so glad I made this purchase and know that my weekends when I’m alone and longing for some orgasms—- I’ll use this instead of a guy who I can’t stand. 

They have these hot seats on the website Groupon and it was discounted- I paid $31 for an instant orgasm. Ladies or even guys check this out. 


Posted in Sex

None for me 

So my weekend never happened because life comes into play and being a mom comes first before anything- even some wild sex.

My child was very ill this whole weekend and I had to put on my doctor hat to care for her before she went with her father tonight. 

Felt bad not seeing Bill yum Saturday but my child always comes first and always will. 

So I have no clue when the next time I see him will be. 

As far as Don…. he hit me up wanting to hang Friday but I couldn’t and I think he’s giving up on me. I think he’s done chasing me. So I think I’ll start chasing him. Idk yet though not sure if I’m wasting my time with him or not. 

As far as Tank goes- it seems like our conversations are bland- dry and always repetitive 

Not sure where this thing will go

And I’m really at the point like I don’t even care

I’m still young

And have time to find my one 

Maybe he’s out there somewhere 

Posted in 3Way, Addiction, sexaddict, Arousing, BDSM, Clit kisser, Dating, erotica, Kinky, Lesbian, Masturbate, Oral sex, Orgasms, Porn, Porn star, Pussy, Realistic, Sex, Sex toy, Single, Submissive, Threesome, True life, real, me,, Uncategorized, Users, Vagina, pussy, penetrating

Weekend meetup

So it’s getting close to that time again-

Bill yum will be in town next weekend and I’m so excited about it

I haven’t had sex in a while and have been so horny

I text him last night to see if he’s getting a hotel when he comes and he said most likely

Not sure if he will or not but either way I’m gonna fuCk him

Whether it’s in the back of his car or just fucking on the side of a dark back road 

I need to fill my want and need 

Tank isn’t doing that for me since we are waiting to have sex

Which is cool but a girl needs a little more than just dry humping and sucking a dick

So I plan on Saturday to be wild as always when I’m with Bill yum

His huge black dick will penetrate my tight pussy and feed this need I’ve had for quite some time 

It might seem as though I am just using him for sex— but am I wrong? 

Men do it all the time- why can’t women. 

Fuck it I’m gonna do what I want anyway no matter what people say or think even if they think it’s wrong.

Tank update:

So I’m still talking/texting Tank since the last time we went out on a date and he supposedly would start coming up to see me more- now to see if he’s truthful about that And actually comes. 

I just feel like sometimes guys are all talk- 

I won’t believe him until I actually see it happen

I’m feeling a bit strange about Tank and thinking maybe he’s not that experienced sexually since he doesn’t wanna have sex with me yet. His kissing was awkward and it was as if he pushing his whole mouth on my mouth and the tongue doesn’t move in sync with mine- I cannot explain it but he’s a terrible kisser and I feel like I’m suffocating when he kisses me- doesn’t give me those feels like other guys do when we kiss so I’m wondering if I’m honestly attracted to him or not and wondering if I’m wasting my time. I had to tell him on Saturday to kiss a certain way not sure if I crushed his male ego but I don’t give a fuck I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Tank is the kind of guy who seems like he hasn’t been with a woman in a long time which I guess is a good thing but there’s no thrill there there’s no freakiness and experimentation like I want. 

When talking about sexual fantasies- I mention a threesone with a guy and girl and his eyes bulged out of his head- shocked. 

I mention how I might be into whips and choking and he looked so scared. Not sure if we have the same sexual chemistry and not sure how long this will last because of it- although I am trying hard to get to know him and with time maybe he would reveal a freaky side to him. He did however say he likes to be dominated by a woman and it turns him on. But I like to switch it up I wanna be dominated but also dominate so wondering if he could do that for me. He also seems to really have a foot fetish and shower fetish. Every time I see him he mentions he wants to wash my body down and massage my feet- I’m like umm okay sure you can- but I haven’t allowed him to do it yet cause I told him I can’t just shower with him without wanting to fuck him right after- I said it’s too much of a tease to do that. So basically all we do right now is cuddle, dry hump, I suck his dick and I finger myself till I fall asleep. Guess I’ll see how much longer this goes on. 

Tank also said he’ll eat pussy when we get more intimate 

Like how much more intimate do we need to get? 

I suck your dick but you can’t return the favor? 

This kinda irritates me- so not sure where this thing with Tank will go. The guys I choose are selfish as fuck when it comes to eating pussy.

I’m about to get me a female just so my pussy gets licked and some more attention 

Update on Don:

So I text him a dirty meme the other day cause it reminded me of him and the way he lays down the pipe 

He responds and says he wants to meet up

I’m tempted and might just meet with him this Sunday so I can get some action before next weekend 

It feels like forever that I had sex

Since all my dudes are long distance 

So not sure what will happen Sunday but I’ll deff keep my followers posted

Tyrone Update:

Tyrone and I are supposed to hang out sometime this week- but not 100% sure about that since he’s been so busy. 

Solo:

Pleasuring myself is the only way these days.

I’ve been fingering myself a lot these days and watching a lot of pornhub the blacked edition- which I love and it seems to be satisfying me. 

Just don’t know how much longer it will satisfy me until I erupt and want to just fuck everything and anything. 

Stay tuned for more sex stories that I am sure are on their way since I’ve been horny as fuck 

The pussy controls me and I think I’ll let it